Wednesday, March 20, 2013

All Economic Production Comes from the Fed

I checked CNBC.  Don't ask me why, I was just checking in to see how crazy the crazies were on the financial markets.  And well, they're still crazy.  Here's the headline title:

If I do my math right, we are now entering the 5th year where the financial markets focus all of their attention solely on the Fed for economic salvation and a source of economic production.  Of course, this is nothing more than desperation.  Much like middle aged divorcee women focus their attention on "Eat Pray Love" type movies to provide them the rationale a single George Clooney with millions of dollars will choose them and their baggage over a 25 year old, childless hottie, so too do the millions of finance professionals and 401k Clergy depend on an ever increasing stock market for their livelihood.  And ANY excuse, even something as pathetic as thinking the central bank is the source of economic production, will do.

Therefore, since it seems the market insists on being irrational longer than that saner heads have patience, I thought it high time to make a couple economic charts explaining this new economy.

First, GDP by sector:

If you don't believe this chart, then you obviously didn't attend an Ivy League school and are stupid. You're probably racist too.

Second, a new refined chart on the basics of government finance:

You're an idiot, or at least not a Wall Street professional or D.C. financier genius like Paul Krugman, if you don't understand this.  But it's alright, not everybody can be as smart as these guys.  Debt is GOOD.  Don't worry that there aren't any metrics on the Y-axis, it doesn't matter.  That's how awesome and smart these eocnomists are and how stupid you are.  You're also a racist if you don't agree with or understand this chart.

Finally, unicorns.

The implication of this chart should be obvious even a non-Ivy League graduate should understand it.  Economics+Unicorns = Awesomeness.  But that's OK if you don't, because that's why we have finance professionals to explain these "complex" financial and economic issues to dumbass commoners like you.  This is cutting edge stuff by the way.  The introduction of the "Unicorn Complex" has pushed economics as a field into new and unchartered territory.  Barack Obama came up with it himself.  That's how smart he is.  And if you don't know why unicorns have anything to do with economics, then you are a racist AND a sexist.

This post brought to you by Amazon.  You have to buy something, might as well get it on Amazon so I get a commish and don't have to ever work a real job again.

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