Friday, May 3, 2013

The Importance of Revisiting the Meat Market

As most of you know I am spoken for.  Took a while, but the benefits of it taking a while and dating 300+ of America's...COUGH COUGH...WHEEZE WHEEZE...PHLEGM PHLEGM...

"finest"

kind of puts things into perspective so that when a quality candidate comes along (one every eight years) you know to capitalize on it.

However, that being said, there is a thing called "euphoric recall,"  a term an alcoholic friend of mine taught me about.  It means that your brain tends to remember only the good things or good times and forgets the bad ones.  I believe it is a survival mechanism in that if your brain remembered all the bad stuff in your life, you'd become depressed and suicidal.  But that aside, the principle applies in the same regard when it comes to courting and playing the field - your brain will remember only the good times of your single swingin' bachelor/ette days.

Because of this, after some time men (and women) will tend to only fondly remember the good aspects of dating and playing the field.  They will then start to wonder about their current spouse/boy/girlfriend/lover, or just the concept of settling down in the first place.  But what they forget is the sheer hell and pain-in-the-assery those "good ole times" were.

Thus, why I recommend "revisiting the meat market."

As I sit here now typing, my pilot-bachelor-millionaire friend and I just returned from "Friday Night" in St. Petersburg, Florida.  Every Friday night they section off the bar area of downtown and the night clubs, cigar lounges, and bars open up.  We headed out to the cigar lounge to smoke, but as luck would have it, I also found a salsa club just a block south of the "Friday Night" festivities.

However, when we reconnoitered the salsa club there were practically no women to dance with, prompting us to think we'd surely be able to convince some women to come dance with us back at the "Friday Night" festival.  I thought this would be a breeze given the levity of the festival and figured it would only be a matter of approaches to convince a couple girls to join us, but, ahhhhh yes.... euphoric recall.

The first group of girls "didn't know how to dance."

The second group, "no thank you, nice try."

And the third group!  Mercy, a veritable 23 year old bitch told me "nice try, it's time for you to leave."

(And to dissuade any arguments that I was dejected or butt hurt, no, in all honesty I was merely, literally, and honestly asking girls if they wanted to join me and my buddy at a salsa club.  And to further address any additional arguments, yes, I was on my game, was charming, wasn't creepy, etc, etc, etc.and my approach was one of NOT hitting on, but a genuine and friendly request that some girls come dancing with us (for example, I asked no one particular girl, but GROUPS to join us)  Also the approaches were aloof, indifference and nonchalant.)

Regardless, my point is the responses were just so hostile and arrogant that it reminded me of just what a pain in the ass it was trying to play the field, when in fact we WEREN'T EVEN TRYING TO PLAY THE FIELD!  We were just trying to get dance partners.  And thus, there is a lesson for both those of you who are spoken for and those of you who are single.

For those of you (men) who are single, my god.  I don't envy you.  I've been off the market for a while, but not that long.  And even in that short time the arrogance and hubris of women has increased 2-3 fold.  To see someone as young as 23 dare to have the rudeness to dismiss a request to dance with "time for you to go" only tells me they have been approached so many times their courtesy and etiquette has been obliterated by their egos.  And while admittedly this is a sample pulled from St. Petersburg and is not representative of all girls in America, it is once again further proof the wisdom us old fogies have is needed more than ever.

For those of you men who are spoken for, I HIGHLY recommend revisiting the meat market.  Not so much to hit on girls, but to be reminded as to just what a pain in the ass it was suffering such brats in your youth, and what a catch you have back at home.  I have the benefit of being able to use a platonic vehicle in the form of dancing to test the attitudes of women today, but simply revisiting a meat market or a bar and faux talking to a girl will more than make you appreciate the attitudeless woman who entertained your offer to take her to a movie 10 years ago.

I'll say it again for the cheap seats.  I ALWAYS and CONSTANTLY worry that the wisdom we gained from our experiences 10-20 years ago will not apply to the current generation, and in no longer being applicable, turn out to be erroneous, misleading, and thus, detrimental.  But the situation has WORSENED, NOT IMPROVED making our advice and experiences all that much more important for the young boys of today.

Stay frosty, boys.  Stay the freak frosty.

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