Monday, September 10, 2012

The Captain's Declaration of Independence

In light of the impossibility to work

1.  honestly
2.  efficiently
3.  void of politics
4.  void of drama

in Corporate America, it has occurred to me that I (and many others) are simply just not cut out for the type of work that is being offered to us.  It is not an issue of laziness, sloth or unprofessionalism, it simply boils down to the fact I (and many others) do not have the patience, lack of self-respect or tolerance for ineptitude, incompetence and idiocy that is required by today's modern employers.  We psychologically cannot withstand the pettiness, the power trips, the nepotism, the cronyism and the outright psychological bullshit that previous generations have imbued into today's corporate America culture.  Our lives are too short and too valuable to us that the price you pay us in terms of a wage is not worth the psychological costs we must bear in terms of lying, deceiving, ignoring, politicking and whatever other immoral "skills" you require of us to be a "team player" or deemed a "successful employee."

Instead of standing for virtue, efficiency, professionalism, profit and excellence, you instead embrace ass-kissing, brown-nosing, compliance, submission, rent-seeking, lying, affirmative action, CSR and anything else that goes against common sense and profitability.  You are corrupt entities no longer worth engaging and participating in and certainly not worth any of us "dedicating" any small percentage of our finite lives.

Everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY wants nothing more than to quit their jobs and tell you to ef off.  Nobody has any loyalty to you, just as you have no loyalty to them.  And frankly, most would have no problem showing up the next day and plugging you full of holes if there were no legal ramifications.  And while you have the upper hand when it comes to parents with mortgages and children they can't afford, and can make them your "corporate bitch for life," there is a group of us who do not have to suffer your corporate sadism.  Those of us who live cheaply, without children, and without debts.

Without children, without debts, and with the simple skill of fiscal austerity, I and people like me are not owned by you.  We don't need you.  Matter of fact, as long term corporate profit prospects dwindle and tank, you could probably do with outside-the-box people like us.  Regardless, we don't need your jobs.  We don't need to suffer the HR ditz pelting us with stupid questions and 5 subsequent rounds of interviews to get that whopping $55,000 per year job.  We don't need some middle aged gray hair changing our job description every 3 months, nor do we have to suffer the psychoses of your wholly psychologically unstable labor force prone to sexual harrassment complaints, filing complaints and bitching and whining about petty and irrelevant things.

We don't need a Corvette.  We don't need a McMansion.  We don't need luxury trips to Europe.  We don't need children.  And we don't need you.  The life we would suffer with a 2 hour round trip commute and a mind-destroying 40 hour per week job is nowhere near worth the crappy salary you pay us, along with the 0% job stability.  The minimalistic life and the psychological health that comes with it is more valuable than you could ever pay and we can do it on the cheap (especially with all those taxes your hard working employees and you are paying to subsidize low-income people like me!)

And so, in light of such obvious logic, I would like to declare my independence.

As of today, the Ole Captain is no longer working for anyone.  Because of his fiscal austerity, cheap living, financial discipline and the lack of children his expenses are so low he can now officially afford to live off of blogging.

I want to say that again.

I can actually make a living off of blogging.

How pathetic and sad is it that you corporate schmucks are slaving away, working all those hours, hoping to get promoted, while suffering what can only be described as psychological torture while I get to wake up at 1030AM every morning.  Go for a run or a motorcycle ride.  Have my coffee, do what I want to do, oh, and subsequently, barely pay anything in taxes. And how sad is it that it's easier to make a CAREER IN BLOGGING than working a CORPORATE CAREER????

And let's be VERY clear about something.  The reason I can do this is because of 100% me.  Not because of any guidance or "leadership from my "elders."  There's no middle aged fart complaining or asking me how Excel works.  There's no moron, washed up former high school football player saying, "well, we didn't do that back in the 80's."  And it certainly isn't because of any "wisdom" or "tricks" I picked up working for corporate America or some old blowhard in finance.

It's because I'm so efficient.

because there's only ONE BOSS (ME)

because of my ideas and thoughts I have translated and implemented into reality,

because I HAVE SET UP AND DESIGNED THE SYSTEM MYSELF

I can make an actual living off of BLOGGING!

Did you hear what I just said?  You morons slaving away 60 hours a week, paying for parking, and then walking blocks to go to a job you hate with a boss equally as miserable as you and underlings as insufferable as me. And then you get to go home to a family that (probably) hates you.  Certainly you bring home more than I do.  Why you're a "successful corporate man!"  What, $70K?  $80K?  Heck, even if it was $100K you take out taxes, living expenses, cars and houses you don't need, but the spouse demands.  No, no, I'm sure your insufferable life and the brain damage you've suffered over the past 3 decades working in corporate America is much more enjoyable than my minimalist life financed by a blog.  Yes, you just keep telling yourself late at night that I'm "disgruntled" and a "loose cannon."  Just irked I couldn't make it to the "big time."  Whatever helps you sleep at night and keep your mind off of whether you've pissed away your finite life on this planet and your wife is more on the 60/40 slash of divorcing you.

As for my readers, let me just say this.

It has been a long and painful road.  I have saved up my pennies and dimes.  I have refused to have children.  Refused to buy cars I could (but shouldn't) afford, and have only allowed myself the very rare and occasional luxury.  All of this has paid off.

After my return from Wyoming I now officially can afford to live off of blogging.

This is of course in part because of drastic financial decisions I've made in the past, but it also and equally has to do with all of my readers who made this possible.

Readers who help boost my stats.

Other bloggers who have linked to me.

Fans who have purchased my books or recommended me to other people.

People who have purchased items on the Amazon Affiliate program.

And the kind people who donate to my paypal account (although they could actually BUY THINGS and get something in return instead of warm Cappy Cap fuzzies).

It may not seem like a lot, but (then again) I don't need a lot.  And all of you with your readership and patronage have made it possible I eek out a small enough income from this here blog to live.  I wanted to say thank you and that in the future there will be more higher end quality posts as well as new book releases coming out as I am now allowed to solely focus on this venture.

My sincere heart felt thanks to all of you guys.  YOu have no idea how happy you have made me and how much easier you have made my life.

It is now time to really start enjoying the decline.

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