Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Parental Goals Should Target Your Child When They're 30, Not 13

This will be short.

Good parents realize that their goal, when raising children, is not to be "best friends" with them.

It is to raise them so they are independent, productive, law abiding, interesting, successful and mentally healthy adults.

Ergo, no matter how hard it may be to tell a child "no" or even have a falling out with them when they're young, that IS in the best long term interest of the child and IS truly loving your child because that IS what is going to make them successful as adults.  In other words, you don't manage the kid for "today" you manage the kid for when s/he is 30.

Of course, that is too hard for some parents, especially considering a lot of parents today have kids not because they want to bring another human being into this world, but because they view the child as a consumer item.  Like a Lexus or an IPad, "it" is an accessory.  And if "it" starts becoming difficult you placate "it" and try to calm "it" down.  You dare don't try to discipline "it" or teach it any kind of value structure.  And it's ideal if you can outsource the rearing and upbringing of the child to daycare or the public schools.  Then you don't have to really deal with "it."

But what's funny is the people I know and read about that have "its" and not "children," have "its" for very greedy reasons.  Specifically they want an "it" so they are not lonely.

You know all the flak me and the other men in The Vasectomy League caught for not wanting to have children?  What is the NUMBER ONE CRITIQUE they ALWAYS cite and threaten childless people with in vain hopes they'll scare us into joining their misery?


Oh yeah?  What do you think is going to happen when "it" realizes just what a piss poor job you did of bringing "it" up in terms of preparation for the real world?  What happens when they reach their 30's and discover just how much you shielded them from the real world and they cannot function socially, romantically, or in a career?  When "it" can't find a job because you didn't provide "it" with any kind of financial guidance?

I'll tell you what "it" is NOT going to do.

Visit you in a nursing home.  "It" will,  by about the time "it" is 35-40, realize just what an outstanding job you did as a parent and react accordingly.

Thankfully, however, there is good news.

You'll have me and the entire Vasectomy League of men as company in the nursing home.  And we are quite a motley crew!

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