Sunday, October 14, 2012

Brady Bunch Keynesianism

If I recall my 1970's television shows correctly, The Brady Bunch would occasionally have an episode where one of the family or community members was having a problem.  The solution, more often than not, was to "have a concert" and somehow that would raise the bail money for the local innocent man or send Mr. Jones' cancer into remission.  It may have been the Partridge Family, but the larger point is it was a show and it didn't have to adhere to reality.  Even though a "concert" wouldn't really solve the problem in the real world, it did on TV.

Fast forward to today and I have a hard time seeing any difference between the Brady Bunch's solutions to society's ills and modern day democrats/Keynesians/leftists.  I recall, very clearly, when the Supreme Nepotist for Life of Target Trust Fund Baby Fame, Mark Dayton, ran for SENATOR (not governor, as he is now) and his economic "plan" was (are you ready for this?)....

building community centers. 

Now, for those of us with a basic grasp of economics or just plain common sense, we know having "community centers" does not result in a booming economy.  Community centers, if anything, turn out to be buildings that never produce anything, house the occasional municipal "touchy feely" event, more likely the local vagrants, and end up being nothing but a waste of money at taxpayer expense.  You employ a few more unnecessary parks and rec people, maybe a couple more janitors, but it produces nothing of economic value in the end.  But the worthless Brady Bunch Keynesianism doesn't stop there and coalesces around some key and common "investments" that I'd like to further identify.

Bike Trails - Triggering this post was when I passed the exit for Amery, WI on my return trip from Milwaukee.  Amery is where I had this dishonor of attending my senior year in high school.  My peers were so stupid my GPA and rank increased not because I tried harder, but because the grading curve had been so dumbed down.  The stupidity continues today because the city council decided to spend money on a local city pavilion WITH A BIKE TRAIL that would naturally bring scores, if not MILLIONS of tourists to Amery, Wisconsin.  Of course, every one of you has heard of Amery, Wisconsin and their SPECTACULAR bike trails, right?  I mean, along with Vegas, Disney World, and Yellowstone National Park, you all plan to travel great lengths to Amery, Wisconsin for their world-famous bike trails, right?  I can only imagine the multiplier effect your tourist dollars will have on the locals.

Crappy Museums - YOu know the Smithsonian or the Field Museum of Chicago?  Yeah, we're not talking about them.  We're talking about the local crap museums where the locals grab garbage that hasn't been used since the economy tanked and think they're preserving and protecting their heritage.  They're also more than happy to use federal or state dollars to finance these super-powerful stimulators of the economy.  The Duluth Aquarium comes to mind.  And hey, when you're on your way out to Yellowstone, you should try the "Salt Creek Museum," though you better call in advance and make sure there isn't a waiting list.

Concerts - Hey, who knew the Brady Bunch was right all along!?  Yes concerts a la "Live 8" or "Live AID" and "Comic Relief" that were supposed to end AID's in Africa and stop world hunger.  Sure glad those things worked!  Look at Africa boom!  And it has nothing to do with massive amounts of Chinese investment.  None at all.  It's because Bob Geldorf said, and I quote, "we must do something, even if it doesn't work."  Well, at least Bob is honest about Keynesianism.

Business Parks/Enterprise Zones - From Carnivore's Cave, Enterprise Zones!  Yes, of course.  You "zoned" an area of your town  to have crappy, minimalist office space built up next to the Pamida!  How didn't we see this before!  You don't need DEMAND for a product!  You don't need CUSTOMERS or and IDEA or LEADERSHIP or CAPITAL!  No, all you need is a strip mall that has your precious city council's permission to set up shop there!

I'm sure there are more, but those are the ones that come to mind.  If anybody thinks of other examples of "Brady Bunch Keynesianism" please let me know!

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