Sunday, December 5, 2010

She Did NOT Get "Hit By a Truck"

I was accidentally eavesdropping on a cell phone conversation at a cigar lounge I was at recently. It was a young kid (20 something man) talking to either a female friend or his mother (I could not tell which). And far as I could tell he was trying to figure out why a girl who had agreed to go out with him at the last minute the night before canceled. I could not hear what the other person was saying, but the conversation went something like;

Boy - "Well she said she wanted to go out, but when I called her, she didn't pick up. I tried texting, but she didn't respond either."

Person on other line - "Well maybe she was sick"

Boy - "Well yeah, but if she was sick the least should could do would be to text me back saying so."

Person on the other line - "Well there could have been an emergency of some kind. Maybe she's just really busy and hasn't been able to get back to you."

Boy - "How busy can you be to not call somebody for 4 seconds to tell them you're not able to go out?"

The conversation went on, but I needed not eavesdrop anymore because I could already finish the conversation myself. Regardless, it showed me there is a vital and necessary lesson needed to be passed on to the younger Cappy Capites of the male persuasion about the fairer sex, so please take out your note books and pencils and take note.

1. She was not "sick" or "in the emergency room" or "really busy." She just plain didn't want to go out with you.

Understand that women in their 20's and late teens will say yes to avoid the hardship of telling you no. Of course when it comes time to actually show up for the date, then they will bail and just not return any calls that could lead towards a cementing of a time or a place you pick them up. This is why the Rule of 505025 exists (look it up, I won't link to it).

2. How did I know the person on the other line was a girl? Because only women will go to great lengths to rationalize what is empirically and obviously a rejection. They will always try to make you feel better, even though deep down inside they know you just got stood up. Ergo the "well, maybe she got sick." Or " Well, maybe she's just really busy." Or, "Well, maybe she just forgot. You know, people with their busy schedules and all."

Honest to truth when I was a youth in college and had a similar such conversation with my mother she said in ALL SERIOUSNESS (no sarcasm intended) "Well, maybe she got hit by a truck and is in the hospital. You never know!"

Actually, you do, because I'm telling you now.

In every case, no matter what the excuse, the rationalization, explanation or theory, in the end the girl just plain didn't want to go out with you.

Now you have a choice. You can waste your time worrying about it, worse still you can somehow think it reflects upon you personally, or you can follow the Ole Captain's simple rule;

"The Why Doesn't Matter, All that Matters is What IS."

In short, what matters is the reality of the situation - she didn't show up.

You can rack your brain and burn out a 100 terraflop supercomputer trying to figure out the reason and rationalization "why she didn't show up," but in the end all the matters is you wasted your Friday night thinking you had a date. Not to mention calories of energy trying to figure out why she didn't show up.

And to come up with and opine about outlandishly pathetic excuses for her standing you up is foolish and frankly, self-DISrespecting.

Many a man has wasted untold amounts of time, psychological energy and fret/worrying about the "why she didn't show up" when the "why she didn't show up" doesn't matter (and should be self-evident). All that matters is what IS. And that "is" "is that she didn't show up."

The poor guy got stood up and instead of wasting time worrying about it he should instead just simply realize that he got stood up and move on. Perhaps next time being sure to have a back up plan and CERTAINLY NOT put any hope or faith in the fact he "might" have date the next time a girl agrees to go out.

Therefore men (of the younger Cappy Cappite persuasion), save yourself a LOT of stress and learn from the old man's experiences. Realize she didn't not get hit by a truck. She didn't forget to call. Her cell phone was not "not charged." And she was not abducted by aliens. Please have some self-respect, accept the fact she flaked, move on and hold your head higher with a little bit more dignity and simply remember that the next time a girl says "yes" to a date to have a back up plan, if not, fully plan on doing something else that night.

This has a been a public service announcement to the 20 Something Male Capposphere.

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