Saturday, December 31, 2005

The "Why" is Irrelevant...and Probably Stupid

OK, I'm putting an end to this.

Young aspiring male economist romanciers, I am going to educate you on a lesson that is arguably the most important lesson I ever figured out in courting the ladies. It is a lesson that is going to make your courting life a HELL of a lot easier. And I am being 100% totally serious when I say it is a VITAL lesson to learn for I have seen many a-aspiring male economist romanciers go through unneeded and undeserved pain and strife.

Read these comics in order;

OK so this has happened to all of us and recently happened to a friend of mine (which triggered this post). Not to say that we've all had a date go "Oh my God, Dawson Creek is on" and then split on the date. But we all have been in the situation where we;

1. Land a date
2. Get excited about the date
3. And then either the date bails on us at the last minute or is no longer interested after the first date.

The problem is what happens after the girl bails on us or rejects us.

Note how Slick (the kid in the comic) responds in the last strip. He's kicking a can saying, "If I only...If I just....Maybe if I...."

And there's the problem right there.

It is this instantaneous, knee-jerk reaction that when a girl bails on us, men immediately and by default look at ourselves and say,

"Gosh, what did I do. Maybe if I did this, or maybe if I did that. What did I say? How could I improve."

And I too was in your situation as a young 24 year old when a girl cancelled on me on the last minute. And whilst racking my brain and replaying the events in order to find out what it was that I did wrong that caused her to bail, it then suddenly dawned on me;


This revolutionary thinking totally changed the premise by actually admitting that maybe, maybe the problem wasn't the guy, but rather the girl. That maybe, it's just possible, that a man can play all of his cards right and the girl might be the one to fumble the ball.

Look at our young friend, Slick. How could an objective observer possibly blame Slick for the failure of the date?

So here's the rule gentlemen, it doesn't matter why the girl bails. The "why" is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is what "is." If the girl bails on you, don't rack your brain trying to find out why, you can't! The only thing you can do is accept what "is."

Furthermore, I want you to understand that the "why" is probably and most certainly stupid. The girl gets cold feet. The girl didn't want to go out with you in the first place, but just couldn't hurt your feelings. Dawson's Creek is on. Etc. Whatever the case, I can practically guarantee you that 100% of the time when a girl bails, cancels, etc., her reasoning is flawed and stupid. And that if you were to actually find out the "why" you would probably roll your eyes in disgust.

Alas, the whole benefit of this revelation is that you no longer have to piss away calories of energy, time, effort and thought trying to figure out why. You just accept and move on. Furthermore, there is the confidence that chances are it probably isn't you with the problem, and I am totally serious and I'll say it again, you will find out that, yeah, the VAST majority of the time it's not you, but the girl that has issues.

Of course, this whole theory is contingent on you playing your cards right and making sure you don't have a problem. And that means behaving in a manner or being a person that you are proud of. Being a gentleman. Being polite. Being somebody that you can look at and say, "If a girl turns this type of person down, then obviously she is the one that's ef'd up."

I personally aim my best to mimmick a WWII officer and gentleman. I mean, that's pretty safe. What possible rationale would a woman have to reject a WWII, 1940's, Cary Grantish gentleman? Thus, for me, when the girl can't make it because "her hair isn't dry" (I'm not kidding, I received this excuse MORE THAN ONCE IN 2005!!!!), I can sit back in confidence and say, "you know, I played that one pretty good. I was polite. I wasn't pushy. I was charismatic and funny on the phone. I was borderline Private Ryan with an element of Gregory Peck...this girl has issues."

So do yourselves a favor men, make a resolution for 2006. Resolve that you're not going to rack your brains over things that aren't your fault. Be a gentleman, be a good guy, be an upstanding dude. And if the ladies can't appreciate that, then we know whose fault that is.

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