Friday, March 20, 2009

The Captain's Really Quick Week In Review Re-"Cap"

As some of you may have noticed, I am a little lackluster in the posts. This is due to this time of year being tax season and dance season which consumes the majority of my time. Ergo, allow me to give you the insight, wit and criticism of the important issues of today before the weekend starts and I have to go back to the grind to (sigh) teach single ladies how to dance;

1. This slamming on Obama making a joke about the special olympics? I'm sorry, everybody should shut the hell up and leave him alone. I will not tolerate hypocrisy in this ideology. If we want to be able to talk freely in this nation and banish politically correct speech, then the first thing we on the capitalist side of the force must do is allow those on the communist side of the force those same freedoms of speech. I heard it on talk radio and all you middle aged women who have no lives, no purpose and no point in your existence who call into talk radio and FEIGN indignation against Barack Obama cutting an innocent joke should shut the hell up. I am NO supporter of Barack Obama, but what I hold in higher regard is principle and how dare you criticize him for something as innocent as that while you bitch and moan in the same breathe about being suffocated by politically correct speech on our end. This is what separates us from them, intellectual honesty. Learn it, adhere to it, or go join the other side Arianna Huffington.

2. In a related note; YES congress should tax AIG and any other bailout recipient at a 90% tax rate for their bonuses. You see, again, we get back to this intellectual honesty. There is a parallel here between the war against corporate corruption and the war against terrorism. We (on the RIGHT side of the force) complained when there was petty complaints about torture, lack of due process, and rights being granted to what were essentially terrorists. We saw these evil people for who they were, and realized that the law has to be bent, if not broken to deal with these terrorists. How many of you complained because leftists were complaining about Ackbar's cell phone being traced because he was calling Afghanistan before every terrorist attack? Well it's the same thing here people. Treat these corporate exectuive schmucks and parasites as the enemy. And here is Obama and the (god, I can't believe I'm standing up for these people) Democrat congress saying, "OH yeah, AIG??? Well F%CK YOU! We're taking it anyway!"

It's the ballsy leadership we need.

Criticize Obama for destroying the economy with unfinanceable bailouts.

Criticize Obama for basically making slavery legal again by enslaving our children to pay for a lazy parental generation.

Criticize Obama for being a pathetic, preppy, wanna be, mama's boy who isn't a real man and never paid his way through college.

But for cripes sake, when he targets aggressively the assholes who got us into this economic crisis, don't be so intellectually dishonest and bitch about procedure just like the left did about the treatment of terrorists at Gitmo.

3. Just finished teaching a dance class at a local high school. I told the kids to partner up. There are three young guys standing by themselves and 6 extra girls. Guess what happens!

The 6 girls partner up with EACH OTHER and leave the three guys by themselves.

Now I don't have children, but it seems to me I'd be an infinitely better parent than most out there. Whoever you parents are that bring up your daughter to the point they'd rather dance with one another and not the honorable young man who had the courage to attend a dance class should be ashamed because you failed.

Let me tell you what is the most insulting and pathetic behavior of young women today; when a MAN asks you to dance and you not only turn him down BUT THEN DANCE WITH A FEMALE FRIEND. Now I could forgive this if you were genuinely homosexual, and that's fine, but when it's nothing more than sophomoric, childish, girly behavior because you're too god damned insecure to interact with the opposite sex because your parents failed to bring you up right, then this behavior will ensure you're 40, single, beleaguered with cats as children-subsitutes, and wondering why you don't have children yet and why no man will date you.

I think it's high time fathers quit being the Ray Romano's of the world, man up, stand up to their wives, start drawing lines in the sand, and hold daily lessons in manhood with their daughters and teach them the proper etiquette of how to interact with men when they get older. That's you're GD fathers for. To teach your daughters how to interact with MEN.

But, of course, you don't have to listen to me. But you will have to listen to your daughter complain when she's 39, has passed up on 17 grand and wonderful men who would have made great son-in-laws, and cries and cries and cries about why "Sex in the City" didn't turn out to be a reality for her, and then you will say, "oh, why oh why, didn't I listen to the Captain on this one? Despite being so young, he was so wise."

Thus concludes my super fast analysis of this week's newsworthy events.

Your mission for this weekend;

Fathers - have the father daughter talk. The real one. Not the "ponies and princesses" one.

Mothers - Let the fathers do this so that your daughter may actually meet a real and nice man and bring you a couple grandkids.

Men - Go buy your DAME some flowers and ice cream or something and while you're at it write her a poem, not matter how goofy, they like the effort. Start with the phrase "Your kisses are sweeter than beer" and go from there.

Women - Go put on something sexy before your man comes home, fix him up a martini and light him up a cigar. Don't give me your complaints, just do it, I'm trying to help you.

Children - Play video games and watch Saturday morning cartoons (even though they suck compared to the Bugs Bunny cartoons we had back in the 80's). Then get off your lazy asses and go play outside.

Eveyrbody- buy the damn book already. Geez, I got to put table of food guys. I know,you can procrastinate and put it off till later, but you've been doing that for 8 months. What makes you think you're going to actually pull the trigger? Do it now already!

The Captain has spoken.

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