Thursday, May 28, 2009

A Doomed Sock (by Polish Avenger)

Polish Avenger is one of the brightest men I met during my incarceration. He is serving a 25-year life sentence. He recently agreed to start writing for Jon's Jail Journal.

While attending our local school of higher education, namely the Arizona Prison's Work-Based Vocational Training, I've found that trying to learn complex tasks is not helped in the least by the standard-issue sack lunch provided by the guards. Whatever brain food might be, it is definitely not processed turkey offal. Thus I try to provide for myself. For the last year, I have been smuggling in baggies of peanut butter, so I don't have to eat the rot-meat. Smuggling is required as we are officially prohibited from bringing food from our cells into the school.

Everything had been going splendidly until last week. I was on my way to school, and for the first time, the baggie stashed in my sock gradually slid its way south.
Uh oh, I thought, trying to discreetly wriggle and squirm it under my arch, so it wouldn't burst. There were too many guards around for me to remove my boot and fix it properly, so I just had to roll with it, stepping gingerly all the while. About half way there - pop! Squish. Oh dear.

At school, I hobbled to the W.C. to inspect the damage.
Maybe it's just a pinhole, I thought.
Alas, it was anything but. Peeling back the elastic revealed the empty bag mashed up by my toes, and the entire underside of my foot heavily slathered with a thick coat of peanut butter. Hmph. It seemed lunch was no longer on the schedule.

I stripped off the oily befouled sock, flipped it inside out, and placed it lovingly atop the rubbish bin. It looked as if it had been used to mop up a bowel eruption with.
I went on my way, a bit hungry yes, but consoled by the thought of the poor soul who had to empty the trash that day.


As this is Polish Avenger’s first blog for Jon’s Jail Journal, your comments and questions would be greatly appreciated.

Email comments and questions to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below. To post a comment if you do not have a Google/Blogger account, just select anonymous for your identity.

Shaun P. Attwood

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