Wednesday, May 2, 2007

I Need to "Grow Up"

"These men are the real life versions of Peter Pan, flat-out REFUSING to grow up and act their age. And even worse, these are the guys that will string you along the most. The point is, Megan K. and I are on the brink. The precipice of spinsterhood. A No-Man's Land (literally). We want to find The One, settle down and get married (and, for me at least, have babies). But all we're finding is guys who are simply wasting our time."

Holy Super Awesome Powerful Rationalization Hamsterl, Batman! Quick! Let me;

1. Throw away my motorcycle.
2. Give up my freedom
3. Forfeit my 2 months a year of vacation
4. Work twice as hard to pay for her and the "babies"
5. "grow up" and "act my age" by marrying this girl
6. for a 45% chance of NOT getting divorced

Eeeeyish! To quote Rodney Dangerfield;

"Now I know why some animals eat their young."

She even has a neato chart!



What I get a kick out of is what they bring to the table;

"You see, Megs and I -- as well as a plethora of our other fabulous female friends -- find ourselves in a precarious and perplexing position: We're cute. We're smart. We're articulate, well-traveled (her more so than me), energetic, fun and down to explore. And yet, at 29 and 28, respectively, we are still single -- standing on 30's lonely doorstep -- with ZERO reasonable prospects."

Little do they know men would like to hear;

"I am an engineer and Megs is an accountant. We support ourselves and actually are independent. We like to drink and want to find a guy who does his own thing and isn't just an accessory to us or a means to have children that we will value more than him. We want to fall in love with a wonderful man and maybe start a family."

Not the overplayed, "Well, I like to travel."

Run men, run. Keep those courting Spidey Senses VERY sharp to avoid the fates these ladies bring.

As always a reliable and funny hat tip to Dalrock.

Enjoy the decline!

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