Advice for the Ladies from the Captain

I don't know if you knew this or not but men like, of all things, women.

No, really it's true.

It is a well-established scientific fact that men are partial to the ladies.

I have seen it!

So, ladies, do us men a favor and never do this;




I saw this in The Economist and it is literally heart-wrenching.

Here you have a beautiful woman (and she's a big time hoity toity corporate mucky muck professional on top of it) who is smart, educated, refined, etc. etc.

AND SHE CHOPS OFF ALL OF HER HAIR!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

No no no no no!!!!

What are you doing??????!!!!!

I don't know if it was a communist plot or the devil himself that started this rumor/fashion trend of short hair, but let me explain it to you in simple terms;

DO

NOT

CUT

YOUR

HAIR

SHORT

or in other words;

MEN

LIKE

LONG

LUXURIOUS

HAIR

Again, rereading the little known fact that men, indeed do like women, that means we don't want you looking like boys. We like LOOOOOONG, FLOWING HAIR!

Lot's of it.

Stuff we can get lost it.

Hair that when you whip around to face us time slows down as the rest of your hair slowly catches up to the rest of your body. Slooooowly losing altitude to settle on your shoulders.

That alone extends our life expectancy by 20 years.

So,

ONCE AGAIN TO REITERATE

IF YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT CUTTING YOUR HAIR SHORT

PLEASE DO NOT FALL FOR THIS OBVIOUS PLOT SET ABOUT BY STALIN TO DESTROY THE US AND ALL THAT IS HOLY SACRED AND GOOD

AND KEEP YOU HAIR LONG!

On a completely seperate side note,

Remember to tune into THE ECONOMICS SUPPER CLUB this Saturday where I dispense my weekly wisdom;

AM 1500, KSTP, you can listen online here; www.am1500.com

Central Standard time, 1-3PM