The Captain is "Pro-Dog"

I always wanted a dog. If the communists and "do-gooders" of this world would have just left society alone, we would have been able to take our dogs to work, take them to the theater, and if particularly well-behaved, a restaurant.

Of course, nowadays the average child is so ill-reared by an incompetent parent a mangy mutt is a pleasant alternative to the screaming brat in the restaurant, but because of canineism (it's like racism, except against canines) we get to suffer the spoiled brat.

Regardless, I was about to adopt Dooney. I really was. I was about to get my first dog and I could then live my dream of having a hound with me to sniff out fossils and agates in the prairielands of South Dakota. The problem is that Natasha's (again) communist, anti-American, evil, fascist, dictatorship, canineist apartment management is DISCRIMINATING against poor Dooney because he is afterall, a dog, and charge an extra $50 a month to have a dog on the premises!

Since I cannot adopt him and use him to sniff out fossils and agates in the great South Dakotan prairies, perhaps somebody in the Capposphere can?


It's too bad, because he would really be like a shorter hairier version of a son to me.