Minimalist Art - Art Only a Mother Could Love

It was above 60 degrees today and since it's November and we're in Minnesota that means you have to take a motorcycle ride. So off Natasha and I went on my motorcycle and as I usually do, I took a spin around the Lake of the Isles area where the trust fund babies of Minnesota live (and where subsequently the trust fund is running out).

However, as we were driving around, we came up on a "sculpture" that was put up this earlier this summer on this pristine piece of real estate in this Lake of the Isles area. I've been meaning to take a picture of this "sculpture" for quite some time, but I keep forgetting to bring a camera. I finally remembered this particular trip and managed to take a picture of this beautiful "sculpture." Remember this is on PRIME REAL ESTATE IN THE ENTIRE STATE OF MINNESOTA.



I've mentioned minimalistic "art" before, but the long and short of it is this - it's like a crappy drawing of a 3 year old kid. No matter how bad, the loving mother will still put it up on the fridge because she is proud of her kid. However, sometimes the 3 year old never grows up and never leaves the house. And mom isn't some regular mom, she and the father are filthy stinking rich. And instead of putting up the crappo drawing of the three year old on their fridge INSIDE THE HOUSE, they put their now 38 year old's crappo sculpture in their front yard forcing everybody to see it.

Therefore I decided to do some "art" myself to see if I could get a super rich family on Lake of the Isles to perhaps endorse me (or at least put it in front of their yard).

This I call "The Death of the Burning Mouse." You can see I am a super awesome artistic genius. The reason why you can tell this is because you cannot see the dead mouse in this picture whereas I can.


This is called "Bottle Opener in Milan Summer Nights" It is a very deep and meaningful painting with many layers and emotion. It's one of those paintings you would probably have to pay to see in the Walker Art Museum and end up looking at for 50 minutes to really get to appreciate all the different angles. But again, you are not a super art genius like me, so at most you will only see 3% of all the aspects. But still, it should move your soul and make you aspire to at least try to become a super awesome art genius like me.

I call this "The Frog of Socialist Caring" Super art geniuses like me can obviously tell he is a frog, but to close-minded evil capitalists I labeled it with a "ribbit" and a fly so you non-artistic rubes could tell what it is. I really didn't want to do this because I don't like doing "commercial art." I mean, it isn't all about money. But every once in a while I have to lower my standards and make something that will sell so I can put food on the table (even though my trust fund does that for me anyway and I live in my parent's basement).


In any case, if anybody in the Lake of the Isles area or Kenwood area or even the lesser Linden Hills area would like to purchase these fine masterpieces and display them in your front yard, let me know. You may also donate to me by clicking on the girl on the top right of the page to feed the starving artist.

Cripes.