How to Snatch a Man

I know when men tender advice about "how to court guys" or "how to catch a man" or "what men like in women," the pre-programmed, visceral response from most modern day women is

"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK WE WANT A MAN OR NEED ONE???  I'M MY OWN WOMAN AND I HAVE A CAREER, AND YOU MUST BE SHALLOW AND LIKE SKINNY CHICKS, YOU PROBABLY DEGRADE WOMEN BY EXPECTING THEM TO DRESS UP IN LINGERIE, WELL, THAT'S NOT ME!!!  I'M AN INDEPENDENT blah blah blah blah."

Of course, that night you're at home crying because you can't find a man.

Well, I've always had a very simple theory.  So simple, it's complex.  So simple it has evaded people because it's been hiding right there out in the public.

Why not just act like a woman?

Dispense, if you will, with the latest in feminist theory or ideology you've been fed and just think about it for a second.

Men and women are not only different, they are kind of designed purposely to be different to umm..."do things" together.  They complement each other.  Whether this was "intelligent" design or evolution, more powerful forces than you and an army of women's studies professors are at work here and, frankly, can't be overridden.

So the obvious solution would be to simply be feminine.  Because, well, that's what men like.

No, no, I know, I know.

"Who cares what men like!? You don't need a man, and why is it all about what the man wants, and what gall do I have to suggest to you what to do and blabbity blah blah blah."

I'm sorry, my apologies for being so presumptive and misogynistic.

What time would you like me to drop off the Kleenexes later this evening when you're crying?