God, Please Make It Stop

I had a marketing idea for "Worthless." Find blogs of the poor unfortunate kids who had been lied to for all these years that they could "follow their heart and the money would follow," send them an e-mail or a link to "Worthless" and hopefully save them $45,000 in tuition for a worthless degree.

So I did a simple search on the internet:

"blog" and "I'm majoring in"

The results were hilarious, but absolutely painful, meriting a post unto itself. I'm warning you however, it is PAINFUL to read some of these blog profiles. I found the RARE IT major and threw those in there to provide your brain a break, but, no, seriously, pour yourself a martini first:

A "Woman's" Life and Passions. And THIS qualifies as writing??

You Too Can Have an Exciting Career in Digital Media Arts!

Shazika will be majoring in Sociology, minoring in English, and living with or off of her parents till she's 34.

Please do not tell me teachers are not baby sitters. What's the economic model here? Everyone in the US becomes a teacher while the Chinese "make all the stuff?"

I'm majoring in Children and Family Studies, which is basically code to say that I'm majoring in people! God, shoot me now.

Yeah, math is tough kid. You know what's tougher? Unemployment.

I'm going to go to school for 6 years so I can teach ELEMENTARY topics to ELEMENTARY students. No, no, there's no education bubble here.

FINALLY, somebody who is actually going to produce something in this economy AND not have a government job. Atta boy Dustin!

Three cheers for Aditya!

I love cats, Battlestar Galactica and walks on the beach.

My mom threw something like this up on the fridge when I was 7.

Majored in "Sustainable Tourism." But he got "good grades."

Good for you, pursue a career in the military. If you haven't noticed, everybody else is majoring in "Elementary Education" too.

Wait, wait, wait! Lemme guess! Yet ANOTHER 20 something girl majoring in (oooohhh...could it beeeee???) ELEMENTARY EDUCATION?

If you can turn that passion for "writing" that every 20 something seems to have and turn in into a passion for writing code, that might help. But wait, wait, lemme guess. The math would be too hard?

Don't worry, I'm sure Ashraf prefers to pay the extra taxes to create-make work jobs for all you "elementary education" majors.

"Heaven's Wrath" the sequel to "Faster Than the Speed of Love."

I love having 3 months a year off and avoiding any major that requires math or intellectual rigor...err... I mean "I love kids and I want to make a difference in their lives." Can I have my government check now?

Hey, I wanted to be an F-16 Fighter Pilot, chocolate ice cream taster, lingerie consultant, international spy when I was young too. I just grew up.

"PIANO PEDOGAGY???" I don't know what that is, but something tells me her parents will be preparing her old room she had before she left for college.

Ug, "global studies?" Good thing she went to Ecuador and help revolutionize the economy. I hear Ecuador is the booming economy nowadays and will save the global economy from its credit crisis it's in today. All those Peace Corps and global studies majors finally paid off!

Majoring in "human performance." Eat, Gag, Barf.

I have to end on a positive note. Thank you Arnab for being a productive member of society.