The BAC Freedom Index

A God given right to all people is the freedom to drink. But how much the government infringes on this precious and life-enhancing right varies depending on the BAC limit enforced. The theory governing this index is that the more people are allowed to drink, the happier and thus more productive they are.


While not exactly scientific the BAC Freedom Index is an astonishingly accurate predictor of economic growth. Countries such as Japan (where more for biological reasons) and Sweden (more for Scandinavian reasons) have the BAC limit set so low that you literally cannot legally drive after one drink. This, along with very high and disproportionate taxes on alcohol in most Scandinavian countries, forces people to stay at home and drink, rather than spend their money going out, meeting members of the opposite sex, thereby keeping their economies from growing.
Whereas in countries such as the United States and Ireland, one can very well drink themselves silly, flirt with untold numbers of the opposite sex, and still be allowed to drive home. This has not only resulted in some of the best drunk drivers in the world, but some of the highest GDP growth rates in the developed world.


This is confirmed when we correlate GDP growth rates against BAC limits. Countries with more liberal limits tend to have higher economic growth. Those restricting their population to the point they cannot "go out and have a drink" because it’s effectively illegal, have smaller (and in the case of Russia) shrinking growth rates, all of which results in a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of .43
Thus we have no choice but to conclude that drinking is vital and necessary to economic growth and government policies should endorse it and it is your patriotic and American duty to drink.