Sex Causes Economic Growth

I was always curious what would happen to the economy if all of the sudden women decided to dolls themselves up in french maid or naughty librarian outfits and upon their husbands or boyfriends walking through the door started, ahem, "making with the bam bam."

My theory was this would make men much happier and trigger a productivity boost which would translate into economic growth. I then pondered being the president of the Federal Reserve and creating indices measuring the sales of french maid outfits as an economic indicator.

Regardless, I did inevitably get around to finding a "frequency of sex rate" and compared it to the average economic growth of about a score of OECD nations. And as I surmised, the correlation between the frequency of sex and economic growth is positive.


A correlation coefficient of .2 no less.

Now don't ask me to adjust for outliers. And don't ask me about the confidence interval. Just shut up and appreciate what we got here; Empirical, conclusive indisputable proof that sex causes more economic growth.

Alas, when I am president, there will not be any of this impotent "stimulus" package nonsense. I shall just merely decree a "Naughty Nurse" holiday.