It's Not Easy Being "Mean"

It is now pretty universally understood that the single worst thing you can do to torpedo your chances with the ladies is...

be a nice guy.

If there is progress to be pointed to in The Manosphere, that is it.  We have pretty much made it basic, introductory knowledge to all men of all ages that you do NOT be the nice guy.

But what is not so easy is doing the opposite.  Being a "jerk" or being an "asshole" to succeed with the ladies and let me explain why.

Chances are you really ARE a nice guy.

Understand nobody sets out and says, "I'm going to be a jerk" or "I'm going to be a mean guy!"  Most guys want to be nice people because it is being nice that gets you quality friends, keeps your enemies to a minimum, and increases your standard of living.  In every social, psychological, political, familial and business circle it pays to be nice.  Unfortunately, however, in this one circle (western civilization romantic) you have to change your game, change your personality and do the opposite.  And it is difficult to do when your core being, your true personality is a nice one.

I've seen this not just in my own exploits, but recently hanging out with a buddy of mine.  Even at the age of 42 he still catches himself unconsciously defaulting to "nice guy mode."  He has to constantly keep his guard up, at least in the initial stages of courting a girl.  And when it comes time to actually treating a girl poorly he's rued on multiple occasions,

"Geez, I just can't do it.  It's not in my nature.  I just don't like treating girls poorly."

Unfortunately (or fortunately) he realizes that it's the only option he has if he wants any measure of success, and thus he fakes it through anyway.

Regardless, the point of this post is one of morality versus that of practicality.  I understand it isn't fun being mean.  I understand it goes against your nature to not call a girl back and play stupid games.  I understand you don't want to hurt people's feelings.  I get that, we've all been there.  But unfortunatley the rules of the game are such that you HAVE to be a jerk.  You have to be aloof.  You have to be an ass.  This of course does not eliminate that "twinge" of guilt or regret as you purposely cancel on your date 2 hours before its start, but the fact these ARE the rules and women respond to it moot any moral qualms you might have.

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