Americana Community Bank Posts a Profit!

Congratulations are due to Americana Community Bank! For the first time in years, they finally posted a profit!

Some of you may remember this bank as the bank that I applied to in 2007, but they instead gave the job to my old boss. Americana is also the bank that when I asked them during the interview if they were making any bad real estate loans, they assured me that they had a great portfolio of clients and wouldn't have to worry about a "housing bubble." They were ALSO the bank that subsequently got a cease and desist order from the Feds.


But now it looks like they actually managed to make a profit! And I want to congratulate my old boss and the higher ups at Americana that claimed they didn't have any loan quality issues for the fine and outstanding jobs they did! It only took $14.5 million in cumulative losses, and a cease and desist order, and who knows how much in taxpayer money or shareholder money to recapitalize the firm, but by golly, you "leaders of men" and "financial geniuses" turned that bank around lickity split! I, and all the other young morons who obviously didn't know what we're talking about, salute you for the fine job you did!

As a visual aid to my youthful stupidity, I created this chart to compare what the company would have wasted paying stupid me 4 years salary vs. their minimal losses over those 4 years:



You see, this is why young people should never be trusted and why gray hair is the single, most important factor when deciding who to lead your companies. Additionally, you don't want any of the "out of the box thinkers" because they obviously never would have predicted the housing bubble and could NEVER lead a firm to greatness.

/sarcasm

Girls and boys, let this be a lesson to you. NEVER distrust yourself just because somebody is "older" and has "more experience." Chances are, given how this country is run, you can do a better job in most industries, especially banking. Besides, if you don't have faith in yourself, you'll sell yourself short and increase your chances of being the "scapegoat" when these morons play the blame game as the Feds come in and raid your office.