The Cowardice of Men

It's late January.

And in the Captain's world that means it's time to start the largest quarter of dance classes-Winter Quarter. A full month has passed. People have received their community ed brochures in the mail. Finally get around to signing up for a class. And BOOM! Off we go for a solid 6 months of teaching dance with the goal of taking a 2 month vacation out west with my motorcycle.

Of course something that continually catches me off-guard is the severe lack of men in the dance classes. The reason why I'm caught off guard is because during January I try to take a vacation, finish invoicing for the previous year, and finish my taxes. And before I know it, BOOM! Classes are starting and I'm starting to get attendance sheets which shows I need to scramble and find 18 extra men for the 18 surplus women I have in my class in 3 hours.

This sets into action a desperate bid on my part to find men. And how do you suppose men respond to me inquiring about their interest in being a pinch hitter in a dance class overflowing with women?

Do they say, "Wow, 18 extra women! COUNT ME IN!"

Do they say, "Dude! Yeah, I'm all over it if there's extra girls!"

or do they say, "Yeah, sure, I'm up for learning something new!"

Hell no.

It's more like,

"WHAT!???? A DANCE class? Are you CRAZY!? There's no way I'm dancing!!!!"

"ARE YOU INSANE!!??? THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I'M DANCING!!!"

Which has led me to a conclusion.

Men are cowards.

Oh, they'll climb the peak of Mount Everest.

And they'll walk to the South Pole.

They'll land on the moon.

And they'll charge the beaches of Normandy under murderous fire from the nazis.

But when it comes time to spend a FREAKING hour with a girl and move their feet according to a beat or pattern, oh no! That's asking TOO much! That's waaaaaay more daunting that walking through a mine field while getting shelled during Operation Torch.

I often sit here in this little world of mine and ask myself how I compare to my American male peers. And as much as I would like to think that I am just an average guy of average build and strength, I realize that I am not so much a "super man" as much as I am simply an old school man, which despite my physicality, makes me supremely more alpha than my modern day American beta male counterparts. I have this somehow "god like power" to have the courage to (GASP!) ASK A FREAKING GIRL TO DANCE which most men don't. And somehow that just doesn't sit right with me. I've never faced battle. I've on occasion have faced death. But on the grand scheme of things, dancing with girls (even when I was a rookie) just plain didn't seem that damn threatening.

Ergo, men of the Cappy Cap Capposphere-

Get off your ass.

Grab a girl.

Go sign up for a dance class.

And dance!

I honestly don't know why I have to write these things.