Wells Fargo's Boyscout Badges

I bank with Wells Fargo because frankly I am burdened with a lot of work, and plain don't have the time to close my account, redirect all my automatic bill pays. Ergo I tolerate this more or less evil company. Inevitably I will switch to TCF because they did not take TARP money and are actually nearby.

However, on my many trips to the bank I notice up on the wall behind the teller's desk are these banners with each employee's name on it. And on these banners are little pins, kind of like badges on a boyscout's sash. Things like the "WOW" pin, or the "5 Years Service Pin" or "Goodie for You" pin and the "Charles Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence" pin.

And what angers me is that this is typical of corporate America where they think they can get by giving people worthless awards or plastic trophies or wood plaques for hard work instead of, oh, I don't know,

PLAIN FREAKING CASH!???!!!

It's insulting to workers.

Does management in these corporations really think "Bob" is excited when he has the most "Wow" pins on his sash?

Does he get to take that to interviews?

Does he take it home with him and wear it on his chest so when he hits the clubs the girls all fawn over him?

And seriously, when he dies, is that sash going to be prominently displayed anywhere during the wake?

Of course not, because Bob just plain doesn't give a damn about the damn sash because for all of his hard work he gets a worthless fabric adorned with worthless pieces of metal or plastic.

"Wow!"

Now here's the thing, and maybe, just maybe the PHB's of the corporate world will pick up on this, there are only TWO things that will incentive workers to work more (because I know we don't want them working smarter, because that usually brings about change and efficiency and is ruthlessly punished);

More MONEY

or

MORE TIME OFF

That's it.

That's all that's going to incent workers to do a better job.

And this weasily, blatantly transparent circumventing of this hard economic law is insulting.

I was in an interview recently and the middle aged man asked me "how would you incent your staff to work harder?"

I said, "there's only two ways. More money or more time off. If they come up with a way to save 2 hours a day, they either get those 2 hours a day off with the same pay, or I find them new work and pay them an extra 2 hours per day in wages."

That was the incorrect answer.

Alas, I think in corporate America they're going to continue to spend $20,000 on worthless materials, sashes and pins, instead just plain giving their employees the extra $20,000.

Update - Well, with a$$holes like these, no wonder the underlings of Wells Fargo only get paid in plastic.