From Xena (Letter 5)

Xena - A transsexual giant and Wiccan priest. The charismatic leader of Cult Of Xena (COX). Tattoos include a wasp on Xena’s penis and ant trails running up Xena’s legs. Cut off a testicle while in prison, and almost bled to death.


My Dear Friend Shaun,

I love and miss you! I hope that your new girlfriend is the one.

I have sworn off men, and now it seems I am very well hated in here. Ironic!

You are always on my mind. I have a little more than ten years left to do. Will you still be aware of me then? I hope so. I want to see you again. You changed my life dramatically, and when you left my life again was so bland. And now I feel the old anger and torment, which is a part of the prisoners’ deception of their likelihood, flowing back into my consciousness. I try to fight it. I have no friends in here to help me with the strain of its pull. I therefore must rely on memory of the one who knew how to live in here without becoming trapped by the sheer weight of time, and the pressure of its employees and other prisoners who look human yet under their skins lurk deformed atrocities, and whose purpose is to pick at the foundations of people’s faith and strength. I feel the temperament of pressure. It is heavy. It is cold, and yet I feel burned.

I am happy you are enjoying your life. I wish I could know freedom. I want to go swimming in a cold lake again, and to feel the shining of the sun on my skin afterward. The taste of honey dew and coconut with vanilla ice cream Yum! And I want you looking in my face, telling me I will be OK.

Love Xena ---XXX---


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Shaun P. Attwood