Your Don't Deserve Those Fine Machines

I had eluded to this before during a trip I took to Arizona where just north of Phoenix there was no limit to the number of Baby Boomers who bought Shelby Mustang GT's, but opted to use only 2 of the 8 cylinders those cars have, clogging traffic to a stand-stillish 45 MPH on the interstate, however, let me tell you of another machine these blue hairs don't deserve;

Harley's.

I'm out in the Wyoming/South Dakota area during the depths of the Sturgis rally and as far as I can tell the Harley riders break down into three camps;

1. Youngish Harley riders who know how to drive, appreciate the rally and go 5-10 MPH over the speed limit.

2. Veteran Harley riders who have gone to the rally when they were younger, are seasons drivers and go 5 MPH over the speed limit.

3. Sunday morning, spectator sport, preppy Harley riders who are now having a midlife crisis and decided, as a hobby to buy a Harley, drive it out to the rally and piss off practically everybody on the road by driving 10-15 MPH UNDER THE SPEED LIMIT.

This is particularly pronounced when you're in the moutains, there's no 4 lanes which would permit you to pass, and never any pass lanes, because the road is too curvy. And there you sit, going 40 MPH down a 7% grade moutain, wearing out your brakes because some suburbanite preppy schmuck with too much money on his hands decided to buy a 900 v-twin, of which 50 cc's he's deciding only to use.

Now I drive arguably the smallest interstate legal bike, a Ninja 250. Just a short breath away from a moped, but I can still pass these $20,000 machines simply because I realize there's more than 1 gear to my bike.

Ergo, fellow Cappy Cap readers and motorcycling enthusiasts, I make a proposal. To make the roads safer, let a lone more efficient, if you pass a Harley rider in a;

1. 250 cc motorcycle
2. A truck
3. A semi truck
4. A cement truck
5. A moped
6. A mobile home (which actually do go faster than these spectator sport Harley riders)
7. Running on foot,

You are allowed to pull them over, commandeer their bike and report them to the local authorities where they will be arrested for abusing a Harley and in turn be given what they're only a decade away from driving anyway;

A Rascal.

And come to think of it, I've seen some rascals driving faster than most of these guys.