Sunday, June 7, 2009

Why You Have Bad Government

This is arguably going to be the most important post of my entire blog, so please pay attention.

The below chart is confusing.



The reason it is confusing is because there are many different types of majors that it is hard to see any kind of trend or relationship. But if I simplify it into the chart below;


Now you start to see where I'm going with this.

The two charts above are simply a breakdown of the House of Representatives in the state of Minnesota by major. I further simplified the chart into "Worthy Degrees" and "Worthless Freaking Crap." And for the sake of informing my readers I defined "Worthy Degrees" as degrees that would actually have some kind of net positive benefit to society and "Worthless Freaking Crap" as degrees rich spoiled kids pursue as a hobby with no real intention of ever finding a real job, but just an excuse to go and chase tail for 4 - 6 years during your twenties. They break down thusly;

Worthy degrees;

Math
Nursing
Agriculture
Engineering
Biology
Economics
POLICE Science/Criminology
Votech
Physics
IT

Worthless degrees;

Business
Education
Poli Sci
Sociology
Pre-Law
English
Geography
Philosophy
Psychology
Communications
History
Journalism
Environmental Studies
Music/Arts
Foreign Language
General Studies
Rhetoric
Broadcasting
Home and Community Services
Metropolitan and Urban Studies
Fashion Merchandising

(*note, "business majors" were considered worthless as they were either general business, HR, or marketing, none of which are real degrees. Interestingly enough NO ACCOUNTING majors were listed...which goes a long way in explaining why the budget is always out of balance).

Now the reason I bring this up and point this out is that while it is as clear as day to me why we have incompetent government and incompetent legislatures across this nation, it seems to be the ever elusive question as to "Why can't we just have competent government? Why do we have such bad government."

So allow me to tender you a "theory" (which I already know to be law and will bet my life on it) as to why, not just here in Minnesota, we have incompetent morons in government, but why across the entire nation, as well as the entire western world we all suffer an unacceptable level of incompetent government.

UNDERSTAND that the VAST majority of people who go into government do not originally set out to do so. THey are a by-product of their own laziness and abhorrence to engage in real work or engage in any meaningful activity that will result in REAL, TANGIBLE PRODUCTION for society.

THIS MANIFESTS ITSELF when they are young and have to choose what kind of career they are going to pursue.

NOW UNDERSTAND that the past roughly 2-3 generations have benefited from the massive fruits of capitalism that have made it possible that you really don't HAVE to work if you don't want to. Your parents are rich enough to carry you through, and though you may not be a veritable trust fund baby, you can essentially major in fluff and get by if you so desire. This results in the decision, by what is essentially 18 year old children to major in a subject that is NOT in their best long term career interests, but something that is more of a luxury or hobby and suits their childish, short term desires (on a related note see this).

THE SINGLE MOST DETERMINING VARIABLE AS TO WHAT THESE LAZY SPOILED CHILDREN CHOOSE AS A MAJOR IS MATHEMATICS. The MORE math a major has, the LESS likely these lazy slobs are to pick it as a major. Ergo, they are not majoring in a discipline or study that actually will produce something of worth to society, they choose to major in a hobby that requires little to no math simply because math is difficult.

Now, in due time, those with real degrees and real disciplines will go out and find REAL work that will produce real goods and services society desires. Oh, sure I know, the sociology major will tell you they contribute to society by helping the poor. And the environmentalist major will tell you he's saving the planet. But the empirical evidence, known as MONEY, tells you something different. Sure, the effeminate "global studies" major will tell you he's saving the planet, but he spends all of his money on his I-Pod, cell phone and Prius, ALL OF WHICH WAS CONCEIVED, DESIGNED and BUILT BY THE REAL MEN (also known as "engineers.") Regardless, the point is those with worthless freaking el-crapo degrees will find no obvious employment and are thus relegated to a few employment options.

Some will become euphemistically named "Barristas" at coffee shops.

Some will actually do something of economic value and flip burgers.

Others will just marry and engineer and work part time as a "social worker."

And a disproportionate amount of them will enter public education.

But there is one other venue of employment for these talentless and worthless souls and that is government.

Now understand, not everybody can run for government. The natural laws of economics will ensure that those foolish enough to major in "English" IN A COUNTRY WHERE IT'S THE NATIONAL FREAKING LANGUAGE will inevitably become unemployed (though very verbose). However, if you have rich parents or well connected parents, you now have the funds to run for public office.

Allow me to point out just a couple bits of anecdotal evidence.

Humphrey. I know Hubert H was the original Humphrey, but hey, look at Jr. Why, daddy's little boy is so damn bored, he guesses he'll just run for public office.

Mark Dayton. Awwww. The little Heir to the Dayton's empire is bored. Good thing Grand Daddy stored away $22 million for you. Go buy yourself a senate seat!

Nancy Pelosi. Daddy's little girl. And when I say "Daddy" I mean the former mayor of Baltimore (that urban utopia). Do you really think she had to pay her way through college to get that political "science" degree. Wow, for an "independent woman" she really depending on a rich dad and a rich husband. And I don't think she started in the mail room to work up that wealth.

Al Gore. Wasn't his daddy a senator?

And just to show you I'm not slamming on just democrats, this criticism EQUALLY is laid on Repulicans as well;

George W. Bush. Well Jesus, H Christ, we'll prove to the nation we're not a group of elitists! We'll nominate THE SON OF A PREVIOUS FREAKING PRESIDENT!

It is here that those who are by all accounts and standards morons can run for elected office, which practically guarantees that you will have BAD GOVERNMENT.

And the reason is simple;

1. Rich people are shielded from the everyday struggles and strife that normal, even poor people face and therefore cannot sympathize. However, even more important is

2. They NEVER HAD TO FACE REALITY. THEY HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THE REAL WORLD IS. And therefore cannot make effective decisions or policies because it is based in the utopian idealism afforded to them by the parents and not the harsh real world the remaining 95% of the population live in.

A very common criticism by talk radio show hosts such as Jason Lewis and Rush Limbaugh is that NONE OF THESE GUYS EVER HAD TO MAKE A PAYROLL. Barack Obama, for all his cuteness and nice pecks and pretty words and pet unicorns, never worked a real job in his life. His mom paid for everything. He never had to strive. He has as much in common with the poor on the south side of Chicago as Jesse Jackson does. The same applies to the Humphries, the Bushes, the Pelosi's and practically every publicly elected official out there.

THEY DON'T LIVE IN REALITY BECAUSE THEIR PARENTS MONEY SHIELDS THEM FROM IT.

Furthermore, AND THIS IS KEY SO YOU UNDERSTAND, they do not choose to go into public office for anything as "noble" as "public service."

They go into it for themselves.

They are bored.

They are otherwise unemployable.

And (you MUST UNDERSTAND THIS) they are better that you. They aren't going to dirty their fingers working manual labor.

They aren't going to work the third shift as a security guard to make ends meet.

They aren't going to change diapers in hopsice care.

Why, "they have a college degree in philosophy. Why, that work is for the underclasses. Certianly not an "educated, elightened" person like me!"

They go into public office FIRST AND FOREMOST for themselves and NOTHING as noble as public service.

In short they are politicians, they are NOT statesmen. They put themselves first and will tell you whatever you want to here to keep them in office.

This is why you have bad government. Because NONE of these politicians want to do what's good for the state or the nation. They just want to do what's going to keep them in office and away from REAL work for as long as possible. This is why you get idiots parroting things like;

"Hope and change."

and

"We'll bail you out of this mortgage crisis."

and

"Don't worry, we can print off money and everything will be alright."

Of course, the real problem isn't the politicians. You will always have scammers and scumbags who wish to live off the population without providing anything else in return. The real problem is the American population. Such a spoiled, uneducated, uninformed, ignorant bunchs of brats. 300 million people who'd rather watch "American Idol" or see some moron swing a wood stick at a sphere and then run around a diamond while their entire country and livehlihood is stolen from underneathe their noses. Veritable children who borrow more money than they could ever hope to pay back and then blame their ensuing financial woes on a presidential administration. Genuine, USDA 100% certified dumbasses who vote for candidates because they say pretty words and promise them cake, bread and circuses, while completely oblivious to the impending financial disaster of social security and medicare which will make this housing "debacle" look like a joke.

Sadly there is nothing that can be done about it, because how do you defeat ignorance on such a grand scale. The only thing that will defeat it is when the children who are now currently in government run this country into the ground so fast and so destructively that we're no longer able to feed ourselves and will have to entertain euthenasia as a viable means by which to keep the economy from truly collapsing.

In the meantime, I hope you enjoy your cute little hobby majoring in "Rhetoric," "Metro and Urban Studies," and "Home and Community Service" (all of which were REAL majors "earned" by current house of representative members). Yeah, THAT will get us out of the recession!


POST SCRIPT - FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE CLAIMING THE CHART ADDS UP TO 135%, PLEASE NOTE THAT IT SHOWS THE NOMINAL NUMBER AND THEN THE PERCENTAGE

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