Because the Child Goes Well With the Drapes

I do not like children.

I have stated this before and I will continue to do so long into the future.

However, I do have an immeasurable amount of pity for children in that I remember what it was like being a child. Children are humans too.

They have the same feelings.

They have the same emotions.

But worse, they do not have the experience us adults do to explain the chaos that surrounds them. Especially if two adult children decide to bring one of these unfortunate souls into the world in a thoughtless act of passion and then use the poor kid as a chess piece when it comes to divorce time.

Ergo, children are truly innocent and why (paradoxically) I do not want any of my own, yet feel there is no other group or category of people that I have more pity and sympathy for than children.

But what I will not tolerate, because I DO GENUINELY care about children, is the god damned effing fad of having children for the sake of having children.

Let me explain.

Women want to have children.

Accepted, understood.

But when women (or sometimes men) have children because "THEY WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN" I can get no further enraged because it has immediately not become about the child, but the CHILD that wants to have a child.

"I want a child because I want a child."

Now let me explain something to all of you people who want "children."

"Children" are not effing items that go well with the drapes.

Children are not physical toys you purchase at Ikea to go well with the house.

Children are not a god damned SUV you can turn off or ship off to the mechanic to fine tune.

Children ARE HUMANS WITH REAL HUMAN EMOTIONS AND JUST AS MUCH CONSCIOUSNESS AND SENTIENTNESS AS YOU!

They suffer the same pains as you did.

They suffer the same emotions as you did.

And if you DARE bring a child into this world because it "CONVENIENCES" you, but are so selfish as to not provide a husband or father figure to this innocent soul, then you are the epitome of selfishness and why society is collapsing.

I know men are not fashionable.

I know they're not "cool."

But unfortunately MEN DO ACCOUNT FOR ROUGHLY 50% OF THE GOD DAMNED POPULATION.

And if your child, male or female, wishes to have any kind of sensible grounding or reference point as to how to interact with the opposite sex, let alone, the rest of society, they will need (a grandiose politically correct) "regrettably" father figure in the household.

I know, "DAMN FATHER FIGURES!" What do they know, those stupid males? They get in the way of me having children!

Well maybe, just maybe in 20 million years of evolution, they're there for a god damned purpose?

Look, I am all for gay marriage.

I am all for same sex couples.

Because I do know that even though they may be of the same sex, they will at least, provide the child with two parents.

But the greediness, conceitedness, and above all, selfishness of having a child because:

"I want a child"

as if he/she is like ordering freaking cable with the absence of a father

I will not stand for.

Enjoy sending your kid off to day care.

Enjoy OUTSOURCING the upbringing of your kid because s/he inconveniences you.

And when you're old

And crippled

And in a sub-par nursing home

And not getting any visits from your child

Then you'll know what it's like to be treated like a freaking consumer item and not a fellow human being.

Update. If any of you young men in your late teens and early 20's wonder why you are having problems dating girls, here's your answer.

Also a reason never to hire somebody from Yale.