Tax the "Like" Girls

I'm here at the coffee store. And I swear to Christ this book would have been done three months ago if it wasn't for the "like" girls.

Two high school girls have just come in.

"Like, I don't know this girl, but she like, came up to my boyfriend and was like, "wait, what are you like doing with him?"

And "like" this and "like" that.

And like, I'm sure, like you'll kindof, you know, ummm, like find something to do.

Edgar Allen Poe couldn't have even written in such an environment.

Thus, I propose we treat the "like" girls as a negative externality.

Who knows how much production, creativity and innovation has been destroyed as great minds try to do great things and are then abruptly interrupted with some nonsensical blathering teen telling pointless stories where akin to Chinese water torture every time you hear the word "like" your pain and suffering trebles.

LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE
LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE

So, "like" negative externalities, we should tax the "like" girls.

I propose a $5 per/like tax

Every time a girl (or boy) says an unnecessary "like" during conversation, they are taxed $5.

So for example the following sentence;

"So, like, I was like, trying to you know, like, write a book. Then like these two ditzy, like, high school girls came in and started like, saying "like" before every sentence. It was like, totally annoying."

You would be charged $35 for the abuse of the word like.

I think this tax would not only improve the younger generation's English skills, but given the frequency of abuse and the deep pockets of daddy, we could shore up social security and fund the Iraq war.

Time to go find a quiet library...wow, that's the first real use I've seen for a library in years. Silence.