Achievements in Bachelor History

Let it be known that another milestone in Bachelor History has been achieved.

I, your beloved Captain, flew out to Las Vegas for a 3 day weekend. I then drove to Utah to visit Zion National Park and Bryce Canyon National Park. Along with Natasha we did some hiking and fossil hunting, but the pinnacle achievement of the trip was that I was able to pack ALL that I needed in…

one laptop case.

Yes, 3 days worth of clothing, hygiene products, a laptop, cell phone charger and cell phone, all packed in ONE laptop case.

The technique that made this possible is a simple one. The clothes that take up the majority of volume are clothes that needn’t be washed all the time. Jeans, sweaters, shirts, etc. Thus if you only bring one pair of jeans, a sweater and a shirt, and transport it by simply wearing it on your body, you only need to pack underwear and socks, both of which conveniently fit in a laptop case.

If things get dire, you can always wash the jeans in a hotel sink, or if you’re out camping, in a stream. However, this was unnecessary as our trip was so short.

Regardless, this new achievement reminds us bachelors about one of the Principles of Bachelortude – Minimalization.

Minimalization is arguably the most important tenet of bachelortude. Your goal is to be able to move anywhere, live anywhere and cheaply so. With too much stuff, you have to spend time hauling, moving and transporting physical assets, most of which have no real value, let alone even sentimental value.

Of course, as fair warning, you will get eyes rolled at you by any females in your life. And perhaps some will even lecture you about “why didn’t you pack more jeans? My god, you’re shirt is going to get dirty by the end of the trip. And what about blah blah blah blah blah….”

These criticisms can be ignored as you grab your one laptop case, sling it over your shoulder and walk effortlessly the 4 miles it is from the main entrance to the airport to the terminal. You will be the first to get through the security checkpoint as the Department of Homeland Security people salute you for making their jobs that much easier. And then people will start to ponder, “Why, if the whole population was as efficient as this one bachelor, imagine the increase in productivity. Imagine how short the lines would be. Imagine how much traffic would improve.”

Yes, all because of that vital principle of minimalization.