25 Jan 09

From Slope (Letter 2)

Slope - A hillbilly biker with militiaman tendencies who's been serving a sentence for double murder since Boy George topped the charts. Born and raised in Sunnyslope - a neighbourhood putting as much energy into becoming the crack and crystal meth hub of Phoenix as if it were vying to host the Olympic Games.

1-8-09

Hello Shaun,

I hope this finds you well and all is good for you and your family! I also hope you had a beautiful Christmas with your dreary English weather!

You’re probably wondering why I haven’t been writing to you. Well, back in June a prison dentist almost killed me! I spent 3 days in a medical ward. He broke my skull in 5 places. They had to take me to an emergency oral surgeon. I was falling out. They had to pull like 4 pieces of bone out of my skull, collapsed my sinus cavity cracked all the way to the orbital socket, had a hole in the roof of my mouth all the way into my sinus cavity. They had me strung out on morphine sulphate for 4 months. My people got me a badass malpractice lawyer.

I made the parole board on the 25 to life! God is good to me! It has been a crazy 6 months! I have some action coming on my 9 year sentence.

I need to see some pictures of some pretty women. 25 years of no women, I’m a virgin again! Tell the English women I’m a dyed in the wool American booger eater! Covered in tattoos and scars. Got some in prison and others in bars. The only place I don’t have tattoos is my ass.

Well, my take on America’s new prez. It’s about time for a change. I figured it would be a woman long before a man from a culturally diverse background, and not of direct English descent. Hey, let’s see what he does. The color of skin does not dictate smarts or stupid. It’s about time for a change in America. Let’s see if he is up to it. He would be hard pressed to do worse than his predecessor!

So to recap, I made the board on the 25 to life, still have 9 years left, yet I have a chance to have that “modified.” A prison dentist damn near killed me!

Hope you had a good Christmas, enjoying your family and not all that material shit.

Write back soon! It was good to hear from you!

With respect,

Slope Diggidy Dawg

To read Letter 1 from Slope click here.

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Shaun P. Attwood