1 Feb 09

The Dangers Involved with a Gay Cellmate (Part 1 by Warrior)

Warrior - Serving fourteen years for kidnapping and aggravated assault. Half Hispanic and Scottish-Irish with family still in Mexico. Brought up by a family steeped in drug commerce. He writes some of the best prison-fight stories on the Internet.

One officer handcuffed me to the bellychain around my waist. The other had a firm grip on the lead attached to the bellychain. If I had turned rowdy, a yank of the lead would have swept me off my feet, as I was wearing leg shackles so closely linked they only permitted slight foot shuffles as opposed to a walking stride.

You can tell which prisoners have done a lot of lockdown time by the way they walk in shackles. They’re the ones who’ve mastered what we call the “penguin shuffle,” and they know how to land when yanked by a cynical guard.

I did my penguin shuffle – once again in an orange jumpsuit two sizes too large – until the escorting officers placed me in an office. Then in stepped a tall blond-haired sergeant in his late Forties. His flat top told me he was probably a military man or used to be or wished he was. This was confirmed when I noticed his spit-shined shoes and a Marine bulldog tattooed on his forearm.
“Semper fi, eh?” I said, which is Latin for “always faithful.” It’s the motto of the U.S. Marine Corps.
The sergeant tried to hold back an enthusiastic grin.
Still a proud Marine, I thought. Cool, I just scored some points.
“Look here,” he said with a firm tone. “Let’s cut the bullshit. Yer maxed out and none of the yards want ya, so we both know where yer next stop is. I’m the supervising sergeant of this motherfucker. This is limbo till ya get where yer going. Ya can do this shit one of two ways: cool or a pain in my ass. Either way I don’t give a fuck. This here is just to let you know.”
I figured this was the speech he dished out to all the new arrivals as a deterrent to further misbehavior. So I gave him the same answer he’d probably heard almost as many times as he’d given his speech. “I’m just passing through and trying to be cool until I get where I’m going.”
“I’m glad we understand each other. Do you care who you cell with?”
“My own kind [race] is all.”
The sergeant called in the two escorting officers, and directed them to which cell to put me in.

I shuffled my way through two sliding security doors, guards in tow. I caught my refection on the Plexiglas window shielding the control-tower entrance. I looked like a dog being walked. I reached cell 3, and was happy it was particularly close. The leg shackles were on so tight for so long that when I walked I felt them rubbing the skin on my ankles raw. By this time, I knew they’d be a little bruised.
“Step to the side by the door and face the wall! On your knees so I can remove your shackles!” said one officer.
The other was in front of the cell door, unlocking the feeding trap located dead center.

The feeding trap in lock-up was the safest way for the officers to give us what we had coming with the least amount of contact possible. As long as what we were getting was no bigger than 6 by 12 inches. It also allowed access to an inmate’s wrists in order to be cuffed and uncuffed. Any time we were out of our cells for any reason we were always belly-chained and cuffed.
“Sanchez! Come cuff up!” the officer who had unlocked the feeding trap, instructed my new cellmate.
As my cellmate was being cuffed, I paid close attention to his hands, attempting to gauge his size. In here, where cellmates sometimes kill their new cellmates, you have to notice such things, in case the compatibility to live with one another is not there. I noticed small hands, more feminine than a man’s. I also noticed lengthy fingernails, which meant my new cellmate was a homosexual. Then it dawned what the sergeant had meant by asking if I’d cell with anyone.

Click here to read Part 2.

Click here to read Warrior’s previous story.

Why might having a gay cellmate lead to trouble in prison?

Our friends inside appreciate your comments.

Email comments and questions for Warrior to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below. To post a comment if you do not have a Google/Blogger account, just select anonymous for your identity.

Shaun P. Attwood

Sheriff Joe Arpaio's Jails Lose Healthcare Accreditation

Maricopa County jails have lost their accreditation from a national health-care agency.

The action could affect future health-care related lawsuits by inmates and their families and could expose the county to more liability.

The county received a letter Thursday from the National Commission on Correctional Health Care, saying the jails were not "in compliance with the nationally accepted Standards for Health Services in jails." The letter didn't detail problems that could be fixed, and county officials say more information is needed.

An attorney for the ACLU says the accreditation decision underscores the need for county officials to bring the jails up to constitutional standards.

A federal judge in October ruled that Maricopa County's jails didn't meet minimum standards for care.

Email comments or questions to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below. To post a comment if you do not have a Google/Blogger account, just select anonymous for your identity.

Shaun P. Attwood

If This Doesn't Make You Happy

Then I don't know what will.

Enjoy the weekend folks!

GDP Shrinks

Isn't this heavenly?

GDP shrinks 3.8%.

Worst economic performance since the Volcker Recession. Especially in light of this which I wrote almost a year and a half ago and my projections this recession will be worse than the Volcker Recession but not as bad as the Great Depression.

I may not be rich, I may not be popular and I may not have a job, but I'm right.

Tis Friday Night

It's Friday, and people no doubt across the nation are going to go "out for a drink."

This handy chart helps you prepare;



Can't make out which beer it is. But once I do, I'm buying one.

Enjoy your Friday!

The Economic Lesson of the Day

You're gonna die.



Might as well go kiss some more girls, have a couple more drinks and makey with the kissy kiss a little more.

Gag, Barf and Puke

"Beauty writer?"

God, and I thought dating in Minneapolis was tough.

I truly feel pity for the men who have this to select from.

And on top of it, NONE OF THESE MEN ARE "ALPA MALES!"

They are losers.

Cowardly American Men!

So I get a call from one of the districts I'm teaching at and guess what;

TWICE AS MANY WOMEN IN ALL THREE OF MY DANCE CLASSES AS MEN!

Now, I know I've pointed this out before. And I have berated all you men to no effect in an attempt to get you off your lazy asses and go learn how to dance.

But all I get is;

"But I don't know how to dance. " - No sh!t Sherlock! That's why you take the class!

"But I don't have a date." - DUH! Like you need one?

"I don't like to dance." - Tough. Besides, who said anything about liking to dance. There's no better way to meet nicer, accomplished, EMPLOYED women. I can't count the number of dames I've dated over the years LITERALLY because there was so many of them ALL BECAUSE OF DANCE!

Now I'm dead serious about this. I know not all of you male Captain Capitalismites out there can attend, but you local guys have no excuse. Contact me here. I NEED MEN TO SIGN UP FOR CLASSES AS EVEN AS SOON AS TONIGHT. And I have plenty more classes starting in the near future.

Ladies, you certainly can sign up too, it's just I really need men.

Economists and Capitalists UNITE

Sign the petition.

But cheer for Rush.

See how many genuine signatures they get.

Way to Go O!

Brilliant idea. Let them all loose.

Wait, any deaths arising from this policy means there's blood on Obama's hands! Obama is the real terrorist!

Isn't Class Size the IDEA of Education?

A quick concept, then I have to bolt.

Isn't the idea of education or having a school to congregate masses into one area so you can efficiently educate the masses? In otherwords, if you can pack 700 people into an auditorium, have one speaker with power point slides, hand outs, etc., you can save a ton of money on teachers and the cost of education would drop?

I only bring it up because I'm sick and tired about hearing from teachers that they have (GASP) "30 students in my class!"

Yeah, so? You can't handle 30 kids?

Or how colleges and the teachers union always brag/cheer for low student teacher ratios. "We have a 8:1 student teacher ratio."

Well then by that logic, wouldn't the ideal educational model be a 1:1 ratio? A teacher per student? If this is the case, then the public teachers union should be all for home schooling. Can't get much of a lower ratio than that.

Now I do know I'm ignoring some things;

1. Back in the 1950's you could have I bet 100 kids in a classroom and the teacher would have been able to educate them just fine. The reason teachers can't do it today, that no matter how skilled they may be, the parents fail to teach their children respect and how to behave. Additionally, with teachers being prohibited from disciplining children (and by discipline, I mean Captain style discipline, like belts, daily beatings, yelling, insulting them, push ups, running, old school drill instructor discipline) they have no fear nor incentive to behave.

2. A class size of 700 you would merely be a lecturer at that point. There is some physical limits where you have to yell or the rooms aren't big enough.

3. Homeschoolers obviously don't make as good as teachers as professionally trained teachers with education degrees...even though their kids score better...but that's not the point! They don't have their license = not good teacher = Bushitler = end of discussion = Obama Ponies.

But in the grand scheme of things as well as from the conceptual idea of education, I can't see why a 100:1 student teacher ratio isn't achievable. I don't see how having more teacher per student would materially benefit a student that is appropriately trained by his parents to not only behave, but to study. A student that pays attention to the lecturer, and let's not forget advances in LCD projectors, books, etc., can just as well be educated if he has 4 peers in the room or 100 if he sets his mind to actually paying attention and studying. Even your Captain is restudying calculus (GASP) WITHOUT A TEACHER!

NOOOOOOO!

He's just reading from the book and (the teacher union's worst nightmare) TEACHING HIMSELF!!!

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

A student teacher ratio of infinity!

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

But of course the popular fad nowadays is to just throw money at education even though it doesn't work. And the dirty deep down secret is the money's never been meant for the kids.

Using the "I'm Gay" Excuse to Get Out of Divorce

OK, I've heard it too many times and I would like to pose a theory to all the aspiring, junior, deputy, official and otherwise economists out there.

Last night, heard the ole;

"I have a friend who just found out her husband is gay and they're getting a divorce."


Now, I am not disputing that there are men out there who are gay who settled down, had kids and realized he was not being truthful to himself, couldn't keep up the charade, thus compelling a divorce. But it seems to my little eye that this excuse is being used a lot more. Not because there are more gay men who are getting married, but because I think more men are realizing this is the ultimate way out of a divorce without losing half your assets.

If you are a straight guy and your marriage is on the rocks and you cite irreconcilable differences, then you are guaranteed to lose half your net worth.

However, if you claim to be gay, whether you are or not, the women tend to be more forgiving, if not, supportive. Alas, it seems to me to be the ultimate way to get out of a marriage without losing everything you've worked for.


Thoughts?

Theories?

Observations?

27 Jan 09

Dawn of a New Adventure

Sunday 25th Jan 09 1:10pm

I believe in making success happen. I have a plan. I intend to work hard implementing my plan, and I am shortly relocating to the city I can best put my plan into effect. That’s why I am presently on a train to London, the centre of literature in England.

First stop: a two-bedroom house in Guildford. I am viewing this house for the first time. It is owned and lived in by my friend Mike Hotwheelz. If the house is satisfactory, and that includes a distinct absence of cockroaches, I am going to move there on the 8th of February.
I’ve had a splendid year of being mollycoddled by my parents – daily home-cooked meals, mum’s laundry service, dad's apple-carrot smoothies – but now it’s time for me to make my way in the world alone.

Tomorrow’s agenda: I have to be up at 6am to meet my new boss, Tony, in London. Tony is training me to speak to audiences of hundreds of youths about my life, prison and the consequences of drugs. It was Tony’s suggestion that I move to London to be where the bulk of his work is, and I’m happy to be finally making some progress on that front.

I’ll continue this letter on my return train journey tomorrow.


Monday 26th Jan 09 6:45pm

I am thrilled about today’s accomplishments and the house I viewed in Guildford.

Jockeying for room among a gazillion London-bound commuters on the train and then the tube was how my day started. I met Tony – tall, soft-spoken, grey-haired, radiating good vibes – at his Harley Street practice. Formerly an alcoholic who trashed his life, Tony pulled himself together and has counselled for decades.

Tony drove us to a local school. He did a forty-five minute presentation on alcohol for three-hundred sixteen-year olds. Although he confessed to still getting nervous before presentations, he proved to be a dab hand – excellent use of body language, voice inflection and audience engagement. Sitting at the front of the large school hall, I felt the energy emanating from the audience.
When his speech ended to much applause, it was heartbreaking to see a sobbing girl emerge from the crowd. She told Tony and a senior staff member that she is suffering abuse at the hands of her alcoholic parents. Tony pledged to do some follow-up counselling for her. He said I need to be aware that my presentations – which he’s titling Green Bologna and Pink Boxers – will bring things to the surface of those members of my audience with a parent in prison.
Tony is presently designing a flyer for my presentations, to send to schools. He wants me to draw up a list of topics pertaining to my jail experience and to aim to speak about those for forty minutes. I’ll be taking questions for the remaining twenty minutes of the presentation. He doesn’t want me to practice a script as such, but rather to just get on the stage and develop my own style. He said everyone is nervous at first, but I’ll get used to it, and I’ll love it. I concur.

The house in Guildford is ideal. Guildford is a picturesque town with its own university, castle and cathedral – the cathedral filmed in the horror movie The Omen. The house is in the town centre, where I experienced a young cosmopolitan population, bustling with students and bohemian-looking types. Everything I need – grocery store, gym, library, government buildings – is within walking distance. The house was quiet at night. Mike is a mover for a food cash and carry, and his work schedule dictates he sleeps from 10pm till 6am. And most importantly, there’s plenty of space in the bedroom for me to set up my writing operation and go at it like a mad monk.

So how can I afford all of this? Actually, I can not. I am moving with no money at all. I am still technically unemployed – I haven’t made a paycheque yet – so I qualify for Housing Benefit, which means the government will pay my rent until I am pulling in enough income to fend for myself. For living expenses, I’ll continue to get Income Support. I am taking a risk on success, but I am confident of achieving my goals. In the near months, I’ll be happy if I can make enough to get by, while still having time to write and to help our friends inside by posting their stories to the Internet.
The last time I embarked on an adventure like this was when I immigrated to America with only student credit cards to survive on. In anticipation of this move, my excitement level is rising and my mind is steeling itself to deal with whatever challenges may arise.

Email comments or questions to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below. To post a comment if you do not have a Google/Blogger account, just select anonymous for your identity.

Shaun P. Attwood

Economic Collapse

This is an OUTSTANDING book on the housing market, the economy and this entire financial crisis we've gotten ourselves into. It not only explains things to the average person in everyday normal language, but is also a very good read. There are entertaining and engaging stories about working in the banking industry, corrupt real estate developers and the feds. But above all it has a wry and dry humor about it.

If you want to understand once and for all how we got into the trouble we're in now, this is the book to buy.

Books on the Housing Market

This is an OUTSTANDING book on the housing market, the economy and this entire financial crisis we've gotten ourselves into. It not only explains things to the average person in everyday normal language, but is also a very good read. There are entertaining and engaging stories about working in the banking industry, corrupt real estate developers and the feds. But above all it has a wry and dry humor about it.

If you want to understand once and for all how we got into the trouble we're in now, this is the book to buy.

Housing Prices

This is an OUTSTANDING book on the housing market, the economy and this entire financial crisis we've gotten ourselves into. It not only explains things to the average person in everyday normal language, but is also a very good read. There are entertaining and engaging stories about working in the banking industry, corrupt real estate developers and the feds. But above all it has a wry and dry humor about it.

If you want to understand once and for all how we got into the trouble we're in now, this is the book to buy.

The Economic Crisis

This is an OUTSTANDING book on the housing market, the economy and this entire financial crisis we've gotten ourselves into. It not only explains things to the average person in everyday normal language, but is also a very good read. There are entertaining and engaging stories about working in the banking industry, corrupt real estate developers and the feds. But above all it has a wry and dry humor about it.

If you want to understand once and for all how we got into the trouble we're in now, this is the book to buy.

The Housing Market

This is an OUTSTANDING book on the housing market, the economy and this entire financial crisis we've gotten ourselves into. It not only explains things to the average person in everyday normal language, but is also a very good read. There are entertaining and engaging stories about working in the banking industry, corrupt real estate developers and the feds. But above all it has a wry and dry humor about it.

If you want to understand once and for all how we got into the trouble we're in now, this is the book to buy.

Who is to Blame for the Financial Crisis?

This is an OUTSTANDING book on the housing market, the economy and this entire financial crisis we've gotten ourselves into. It not only explains things to the average person in everyday normal language, but is also a very good read. There are entertaining and engaging stories about working in the banking industry, corrupt real estate developers and the feds. But above all it has a wry and dry humor about it.

If you want to understand once and for all how we got into the trouble we're in now, this is the book to buy.

Who is to Blame for the Economy?

This is an OUTSTANDING book on the housing market, the economy and this entire financial crisis we've gotten ourselves into. It not only explains things to the average person in everyday normal language, but is also a very good read. There are entertaining and engaging stories about working in the banking industry, corrupt real estate developers and the feds. But above all it has a wry and dry humor about it.

If you want to understand once and for all how we got into the trouble we're in now, this is the book to buy.

Who is to Blame for the Housing Crash?

This is an OUTSTANDING book on the housing market, the economy and this entire financial crisis we've gotten ourselves into. It not only explains things to the average person in everyday normal language, but is also a very good read. There are entertaining and engaging stories about working in the banking industry, corrupt real estate developers and the feds. But above all it has a wry and dry humor about it.

If you want to understand once and for all how we got into the trouble we're in now, this is the book to buy.

Who is to Blame for the Economic Crisis?

This is an OUTSTANDING book on the housing market, the economy and this entire financial crisis we've gotten ourselves into. It not only explains things to the average person in everyday normal language, but is also a very good read. There are entertaining and engaging stories about working in the banking industry, corrupt real estate developers and the feds. But above all it has a wry and dry humor about it.

If you want to understand once and for all how we got into the trouble we're in now, this is the book to buy.

Behind the Housing Crash

This is an OUTSTANDING book on the housing market, the economy and this entire financial crisis we've gotten ourselves into. It not only explains things to the average person in everyday normal language, but is also a very good read. There are entertaining and engaging stories about working in the banking industry, corrupt real estate developers and the feds. But above all it has a wry and dry humor about it.

If you want to understand once and for all how we got into the trouble we're in now, this is the book to buy.

Get Out of Debt

If you are interested I have two online classes you can take.

One is a class on basic personal financial management.

The other is a more advanced class on stock valuation and analysis.

Both are OUTSTANDING classes and people of all ages are welcome!

Please feel free to e-mail me with any questions at; CAPTcapitalism@yahoo.com

Investment Classes

If you are interested I have two online classes you can take.

One is a class on basic personal financial management.

The other is a more advanced class on stock valuation and analysis.

Both are OUTSTANDING classes and people of all ages are welcome!

Please feel free to e-mail me with any questions at; CAPTcapitalism@yahoo.com

How to Invest

If you are interested I have two online classes you can take.

One is a class on basic personal financial management.

The other is a more advanced class on stock valuation and analysis.

Both are OUTSTANDING classes and people of all ages are welcome!

Please feel free to e-mail me with any questions at; CAPTcapitalism@yahoo.com

Roth IRA's

If you are interested I have two online classes you can take.

One is a class on basic personal financial management.

The other is a more advanced class on stock valuation and analysis.

Both are OUTSTANDING classes and people of all ages are welcome!

Please feel free to e-mail me with any questions at; CAPTcapitalism@yahoo.com

Retirement Planning

If you are interested I have two online classes you can take.

One is a class on basic personal financial management.

The other is a more advanced class on stock valuation and analysis.

Both are OUTSTANDING classes and people of all ages are welcome!

Please feel free to e-mail me with any questions at; CAPTcapitalism@yahoo.com

401k

If you are interested I have two online classes you can take.

One is a class on basic personal financial management.

The other is a more advanced class on stock valuation and analysis.

Both are OUTSTANDING classes and people of all ages are welcome!

Please feel free to e-mail me with any questions at; CAPTcapitalism@yahoo.com

IRA

If you are interested I have two online classes you can take.

One is a class on basic personal financial management.

The other is a more advanced class on stock valuation and analysis.

Both are OUTSTANDING classes and people of all ages are welcome!

Please feel free to e-mail me with any questions at; CAPTcapitalism@yahoo.com

Investing in Stocks

If you are interested I have two online classes you can take.

One is a class on basic personal financial management.

The other is a more advanced class on stock valuation and analysis.

Both are OUTSTANDING classes and people of all ages are welcome!

Please feel free to e-mail me with any questions at; CAPTcapitalism@yahoo.com

How to Research Stocks

If you are interested I have two online classes you can take.

One is a class on basic personal financial management.

The other is a more advanced class on stock valuation and analysis.

Both are OUTSTANDING classes and people of all ages are welcome!

Please feel free to e-mail me with any questions at; CAPTcapitalism@yahoo.com

How to Invest in Stocks

If you are interested I have two online classes you can take.

One is a class on basic personal financial management.

The other is a more advanced class on stock valuation and analysis.

Both are OUTSTANDING classes and people of all ages are welcome!

Please feel free to e-mail me with any questions at; CAPTcapitalism@yahoo.com

Retirement Planning

If you are interested I have two online classes you can take.

One is a class on basic personal financial management.

The other is a more advanced class on stock valuation and analysis.

Both are OUTSTANDING classes and people of all ages are welcome!

Please feel free to e-mail me with any questions at; CAPTcapitalism@yahoo.com

Personal Financial Management Classes

If you are interested I have two online classes you can take.

One is a class on basic personal financial management.

The other is a more advanced class on stock valuation and analysis.

Both are OUTSTANDING classes and people of all ages are welcome!

Please feel free to e-mail me with any questions at; CAPTcapitalism@yahoo.com

Personal Finance

If you are interested I have two online classes you can take.

One is a class on basic personal financial management.

The other is a more advanced class on stock valuation and analysis.

Both are OUTSTANDING classes and people of all ages are welcome!

Please feel free to e-mail me with any questions at; CAPTcapitalism@yahoo.com

Right, Like That's Not Going to Cause Inflation

The beautiful and illustrious Kate sent me this chart this morning;


It shows the monetary base (the actual cash money supply) skyrocketing up as idiots in Washington think somehow printing more money will save this economy.

But to get a real feel for how much money is being printed you have to compare it to GDP, the amounts of goods and services we're producing;



Typically, the monetary base as a percent of GDP has hovered around 6% during times or relative peace and absence of war or Great Depressions. However, many thanks to the sub prime dead beats, socialist housing policies, nepotism and cronyism in the incompetent financial sector, as well as simple greedy bankers, the monetary base has effectively doubled in just months to over 12% GDP.

Now, I know this is ignoring other measures of the money supply such as M2, M3, and the long abandoned L, but this chart provides an excellent explanation as to how inflation occurs and why you just can't print off more money. The reason why is it juxtaposes the two main factors that determine inflation;

1. The supply of money (Monetary Base)
2. How much stuff we're producing (GDP)

Understand that money has no value in itself. It is just worthless coinage or paper. The only real reason money has value is that something can be bought with it. So for example, you can print off a trillion dollars for every person in America, but without a proportionate increase in the amount of X-Boxes, cars, food, clothing, housing, etc., "stuff" nobody is any richer. Ergo, all you do in printing money is increasing the amount of money to buy the same amount of goods (GDP, or as I like to call it "stuff"). Therefore, you have more money per unit of "stuff" which is the definition of inflation.

Now, as I said before, it is a little more complicated when you factor in things such as other money supply measures, but not much. The founding principle stays the same;

If you print off more money without a corresponding increase in the amount of stuff (GDP) you produce you will have inflation.

Get ready for the 70's all over again folks. It's what you pay for when you believe in hope and change and flowers and Skittles and free lunches and clouds and fairies and unicorns social security.

Today is Forward the Captain Day

In a shameless effort to boost traffic as well as boost readership I declare today (Monday technically, even though this is being written on Sunday), the official

FORWARD THE CAPTAIN DAY!

Yes, during this dearth of holidays between New Year's and St. Patrick's Day, why not engage in excessive mirth and jovial times by forwarding the Captain to friends, family, foes and those you are relatively indifferent about!

You will not only be doing me a favor, but spreading the good word of the Captain and teaching those about the merits of capitalism (or pissing off leftists which they richly deserve). Scroll below or just search the archives for a favorite post of yours and forward it to those that might be interested. And, as is the thousand year old traditional of Forward the Captain Day, you are hereby authorized to pour yourself a martini as you have done your part to fight ignorance and socialism.

Go, do it now! Quickly!

Ice Age 3

Oh, it's on.

Businesses Should Stick to Business

I walked into Office Max today which was right next to the now bankrupt Circuit City, and when I walked in I immediately noticed that it was like one of those independent gas stations that are purchased by foreign immigrants who do not have the training in maximizing their space for inventory and thus the isles are sparse, spread apart, inefficiently organized and more or less being underutilized.

It led me to believe like it's neighbor Office Max may be going through a bit of a difficult time during this recession and may not be too far behind in terms of bankruptcy. But as I was at the check out lane, I noticed something that was about to become as irrelevant as global warming;

Office Max's "community responsibility statement."

It was some gobbledygook about serving the community and working with non-profit charitable partners to blah blah blah and it reminded me of a rule I learned from one of the few experienced professors I had in college;

"Business should stick to business."

Understand that as an economic entity, like labor, like government, businesses have a purpose. Their purpose is to make a provide a service or good to the population at the cheapest price possible, all the while attempting to make a profit. Their purpose, despite the brainwashing 20 something business majors are told, is not to be everything to every one. It's not to be a charity. It's not to be a non-profit. It's not to be a savior. It's not to be a vehicle used for employment. It is to be an entity that makes it possible for humans to consume the services and products they need necessary for the sustainability and enhancement of their lives. It's based more or less on the simple economic concept of the division of labor. And now that Office Max has been mismanaged or perhaps tried to deviate from its sole purpose of being a business, this branch not only looks like it will be shut down, but will also now be unable to continue its "community service."

Sadly, and to the dismay of leftists who don't understand basic economics, the shutting down of this branch will have more costs than just the loss of charitable contributions to the "community." The closing of the branch now has resulted in the loss of jobs and now has given me and customers in the area and added inconvenience of having to drive further to find the same products.

Another company does this and even prides itself on the "community service" it does and that is Target. Target donates (I recall) 3% of its pretax profits to whatever charities, schools and other community causes in the local community its at

I stopped shopping at Target because I know they do this as a marketing ploy, tugging at the heart strings naive people who want to think they are doing "something for the community" while shopping at Target.

The sad truth is that as this recession clamps down and pressures margins, Target is going to have to rethink this faux-altruistic marketing ploy. Wal-Mart is not even immune to the effects of this economy and given people are going to have to cut back on spending, Target will have to make its goods and services cheap as possible, not only to remain competitive, but to survive.

Of course this will come at hoots and hollers as people who were loyal to Target because of this charity will complain they are no longer helping the community, but one should ask themselves whether Target serves the community more by all the jobs it provides and the products it sells and being a BUSINESS or by being a cute little faux charity.

President Barack Obama Murders 16 Innocent Civilians

It's true!

Sorry, I'm going to be just an intellectually-dishonest, lying pain in the ass as the left was about George Bush for the past 8 years.

Then and Now

Time for another exciting episode of then;


And now!


Don't worry, society's going the right way.

Global Warming Dead Last on People's Mind

Well, if the planet was actually warming, then people might be concerned. But since it's cooling and these Global Warming Zealot Psychos are so desperate to keep their religion going they've had to convert it to "global climate change" I don't think the population is THAT stupid to believe in it any more, let alone give a damn;

Hope and Change Index

Hope and change and flowers and ponies and candy and ice cream and puppies!

Obamacles

It's a long read, but if you have the time it is worth it.

ht to Mr. Fuller.

25 Jan 09

From Slope (Letter 2)

Slope - A hillbilly biker with militiaman tendencies who's been serving a sentence for double murder since Boy George topped the charts. Born and raised in Sunnyslope - a neighbourhood putting as much energy into becoming the crack and crystal meth hub of Phoenix as if it were vying to host the Olympic Games.

1-8-09

Hello Shaun,

I hope this finds you well and all is good for you and your family! I also hope you had a beautiful Christmas with your dreary English weather!

You’re probably wondering why I haven’t been writing to you. Well, back in June a prison dentist almost killed me! I spent 3 days in a medical ward. He broke my skull in 5 places. They had to take me to an emergency oral surgeon. I was falling out. They had to pull like 4 pieces of bone out of my skull, collapsed my sinus cavity cracked all the way to the orbital socket, had a hole in the roof of my mouth all the way into my sinus cavity. They had me strung out on morphine sulphate for 4 months. My people got me a badass malpractice lawyer.

I made the parole board on the 25 to life! God is good to me! It has been a crazy 6 months! I have some action coming on my 9 year sentence.

I need to see some pictures of some pretty women. 25 years of no women, I’m a virgin again! Tell the English women I’m a dyed in the wool American booger eater! Covered in tattoos and scars. Got some in prison and others in bars. The only place I don’t have tattoos is my ass.

Well, my take on America’s new prez. It’s about time for a change. I figured it would be a woman long before a man from a culturally diverse background, and not of direct English descent. Hey, let’s see what he does. The color of skin does not dictate smarts or stupid. It’s about time for a change in America. Let’s see if he is up to it. He would be hard pressed to do worse than his predecessor!

So to recap, I made the board on the 25 to life, still have 9 years left, yet I have a chance to have that “modified.” A prison dentist damn near killed me!

Hope you had a good Christmas, enjoying your family and not all that material shit.

Write back soon! It was good to hear from you!

With respect,

Slope Diggidy Dawg

To read Letter 1 from Slope click here.

Our friends inside appreciate your comments.

Email comments or questions for Slope to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below. To post a comment if you do not have a Google/Blogger account, just select anonymous for your identity.

Shaun P. Attwood

By the Way

I have determined that cracked ribs suck.

Just letting you know.

Feel Free to Post a Review

I have had several people who ordered the book ask if it is OK if they write a review.

You may as well ask if it's OK you set me up with Jennifer Aniston and she would be in a French Maid outfit.

YES, for god's sake! Go! Do! Now!

Waiting Times

Somebody take credit for this because it was forwarded to me;

Correct

Women should never discount the value of outfits.

Of course that's derogatory and degrading. I'm mean, why would we want to make 1/2 of the population happy? I mean what would be the point in that? 50% of the population happy? For what purpose???

In the meantime, enjoy 65% divorce rates.

And YES, it is that simple.

Fuck Che

Found this in the local leftist rag;



No doubt to be followed by popular sequels such as;

"STALIN!"

"HITLER"

"POL POT"

and

"MAO TSE TUNG"

See, if you are a mass murderer that is a leftist then it's alright. But if you're a capitalist, then you are a....fuck it, never mind.

Let's just celebrate mass murderers. Long as they're of a certain political stripe they're killing of thousands is perfectly alright.

My First Xmas and New Year in a Women’s Prison (by Andrea)

Andrea - A 28-year-old Scottish woman writing from a maximum-security prison in England. She suffered years of domestic violence, and was arrested for the attempted murder of her most recent boyfriend after he punched her in the face. She pled guilty to wounding, and is scheduled for release in 2010.

Christmas morning arrived. Up for work as usual for four others and myself. Everyone’s emotions were undecided or so it seemed. Had Santa Claus left his sack full of women suffering from PMT?
The morning passed with no problems. In fact, it was a wing full of yawns and wishes of “Merry Christmas.” Too good to be true it was.

Lunchtime arrived. Moods soon changed. There were many complaints about the overcooked turkey and half-raw sprouts. What did they expect really?
After an hour or so, arguments began between inmates. Threats were made. It got out of control. Officers stood watching every move, monitoring the trouble brewing. Soon there were women face to face, then fist-to-fist conflicts. A few of us watched the fighting from the top landing.
Officers locked up some of the women to calm things down. But the calm only lasted a short while. The afternoon continued in the same way.

It was sad listening to and watching all of this. Thoughts entered my mind of being at home with my children. It was just all too much for me to take in.

Boxing Day came. I was a completely different person. Not knowing that it was the start of an emotional breakdown. The officers noticed the change in me quite quickly. A decision was made to move me to another wing – “the quiet wing” – just before the New Year arrived.

Settling in, I felt more relaxed, but still unwell. I was put on medication by the doctor, which calmed me down a little.

New Year was so different to Christmas. Peaceful. Happy. No fights or arguments. A wing full of women in high spirits.
The countdown started. Roars of delight. Singing and cheering. Blasts and bangs from over the wired walls. The most beautiful view of colour lighting up the midnight sky as fireworks in their hundreds flew through the open air.
Soon after, silence was all you could hear behind these concrete walls. It was all over. The New Year was here. We were back to reality.
It’s an experience to be repeated one last time for me!

Click here for Andrea’s previous blog.

Our friends inside appreciate your comments.

Email comments or questions for Andrea to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below. To post a comment if you do not have a Google/Blogger account, just select anonymous for your identity.

Shaun P. Attwood

They All Fall Down

Anybody see a trend?

Only tells me that it's the people who somehow believe they're going to get a free pony with the new guy who are inevitably let down. ie-unrealistic expectations.

Shows a president shouldn't even care about approval ratings and should just do whatever the hell he wants. They'll all hate him in the end.

Federal Government Deficit as a Percent of GDP

Given they're bantering about a potential $1.2 trillion DEFICIT (not debt people) in 2009, I wanted to put that into perspective to show you just how effed we are and just how serious this financial crisis is.

As a percent of GDP, the federal deficit (assuming projections are true) would be about 9%. This is the highest peace time deficit in recorded history. The reason that is an important distinction to make is that when your country is threatened then it is probably a good reason for the government to go into deficit spending (as it did in WWI and WWII). However, even without a war (please don't tell me how much we're spending on the war on terror, it pales in comparison to WWI and WWII) we as a people have so mismanaged this country that we're now facing the worst peace time deficit. This should bring shame to the nation in that it isn't an outside force causing us to spend such an inordinate amount, but rather our revoltingly poor financial habits and insistence of being entitled little spoiled brats;



Furthermore, it gets worse for reasons thrice;

1. This is just a projection. The federal government has this nasty habit of spending more than projected, so we're more likely looking at 10-11% GDP of a deficit in 2009. Not to mention GDP will be shrinking instead of growing so your denominator will make this worse.

2. This is just the beginning. Given Obama's desire to make FDR look stingy and bribe the masses into voting for him...err...I mean..."finance hope and change" I will make the crazy prediction of the federal budget deficit actually reaching 15-17% GDP under his first (and only) term.

3. If you don't think the deficit is due to a behavioral change in people's spending habits and a testament to our sloth and laziness, just look at the trend starting in 1950 to today. As the Walt Kowolski's of the world die off and are replaced by the Jim Morrisons, Kurt Cobains and Paris Hiltons of the world, it seems nobody cares to work for what they want anymore, preferring instead to borrow the money and saddle future generations with their debts.

I'll say it again, time to get off this ship. One of my next posts will be on how any entrepreneurial country could make off like a bandit if they opened their borders to capitalist, conservatives and other right leaning political refugees from the US who tend to still insist on producing wealth.

What would Obama do without us?!

Pension Tsunami

I know everybody is focused on the housing market and the financial crisis. But as I've pointed out before, what we're suffering now is NOTHING compared to what we're about to get hit with in terms of social security and medicare. Additionally, this also says nothing about the issue of pension funding. Social security is the government pension for all of us. But private pensions, especially in light of the sudden 40% drop in stock prices, are just as woefully underfunded.

This of course is not mentioned in the media because;

1. Journalism majors are complete inept at understanding, let alone, explaining things like underfunded pensions.

2. It takes away from the 24/7 Barack Obama Show and is one of the more serious threats that stands a good chance of sinking his presidency.

Ergo, since this is going to affect you all, I recommend Pension Tsunami.

The latest news explaining why the baby boomers will have to work past 62 despite what the politicians told you.

We'll Just "Create" More Jobs

I've learned that when trying to argue with a liberal citing stats and unemployment figures and trying to convey concepts like underemployment is pointless not in that they don't have the intellectual ability to understand such things, they just simply choose not to expend the effort to.

Ergo why I like to convey economic concepts simply in that that is the best way to do so. So here is a little tidbit that will come in handy when you're having your political discussions or arguments with family and friends that are bound to occur;

Barack Obama has consistently increased the number of jobs he's going to "create." First it was 2 million. Then 2.5 million. I think I heard 3 million, and who knows where it is now.

Now fine, dandy, grand. Obama is going to "create" jobs. But does this not assume it is within the power of Obama (or the president) to just "create" jobs? And if so, then why stop at 3 million? Why not 4 million or 10 million?

It behooves the question why worry about a recession at all if the president can just simply "create" jobs?

It's along the same line as the logic of minimum wage. Well if $5.75 isn't enough, why not $7? And if $7/hour, heck, why not mandate everybody is paid $50/hr? That would solve poverty.

The problem is (and this is going to be the BIGGEST crushing blow to Obama zealots) is that the president is not all powerful and cannot just simply "create" jobs. The people do. The economy does. The market does.

Sure the president can develop policies that will foster jobs. Sure the president can pursue fiscal policy that will create the environment by which jobs are created. But it is not in the power of the president to just "create" jobs. Furthermore, Obama's economic policies could not be further from job creation. They will, if anything, destroy jobs.

Now I know that this may be a bit much for your standard leftist to accept, but I think it's well within their intellectual ability to understand AND ADMIT that it isn't just a simple matter of "creating" jobs. This will hopefully put them down the path towards investigating how exactly jobs are created and instead of just spewing words that they'd "like to create more jobs" they actually put forth the intellectual effort to find out how.

To help a reminder about where jobs come from and how shovels are so 1933.

Guest Writer: Brandon the Occult Killer

Sue-O is a regular commenter at Jon’s Jail Journal. Her son, Brandon, is in prison. I recently asked Sue to see if Brandon would like to write some pieces for Jon’s Jail Journal. Here’s Brandon’s first piece.

Little mental picture here. I’m typing this sitting on the toilet with my wordsmith 250 perched on top of two stacked cardboard records’ boxes, aided by a cup of Nescafe freeze-dried coffee and a midnight-special cigarette with the desk dominated by my cellie. This is the only work station left. Gives a whole new meaning to “multi-tasking.”

Where should I begin? I was asked by my mother, Susan, (or Mumsy as us kids affectionately call her) to participate in JJJ. Specifically, she asked me for my perspective as a “first timer” in state prison. I’ll relate to you all as best I can, censor as much criminally opportunistic thought and poor grammar as possible, but be aware that prolonged exposure to jail has warped my fragile, little mind.

I could never stand written introductions, it feels too much like an AA meeting over Instant Messenger or watching someone write my memoirs for me. Picture those tags that say “HELLO my name is…” with a big space for your Sharpie-scrawled signature. Let’s give it a try. “HELLO my name is…Brandon, and I am an inmate! YAY! Awesome. Now we know each other, but this isn’t about you, it’s about me. Honest mistake, try not to make it again. Also, don’t be afraid of my odd humor. It’s like a Saltine, dry as hell, but great with wine and cheese. Tasty! Moving on, I am currently being held prisoner by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania Department of Corrections, a.k.a PennDOC, serving a sentence of no less than 6, no more than 12 years. We go min/max in PA, no straight tickets here. Very deceiving. PennDOC is not to be confused with PennDOT, our Dept. of Transportation. The main difference being, if we’re ever sent out to fix a road, we’d actually have to DO it. Picture that scene from “Cool Hand Luke”.

My home jail is a little slice of Heaven’s Red Light District called SCI Somerset, located high atop the Allegheny Mountains in a town of the same name. It comes from an Old English word meaning “Land of Summer.” As you would expect, it’s every bit a misnomer as “Greenland.” In Greenland’s defense, their name doesn’t actually suggest a warm climate, just greenness. Anyhow, seasons in Somerset play out more like Atomic Doomsday in London rather than actual seasons. It’s grey, foggy, and raining, then there’s a sudden blast of hot, fiery death, followed by a century long nuclear winter rivaling the cold vacuum of space. A little extreme, a little exaggerated, but only the part about the vacuum.

When I was first taken into custody, I was 19. Before this, I had a single juvenile case at age 17, in penal terms I’m an infant, a neophyte. You don’t get much fresher than that. I didn’t know what to expect, all I knew was from movies and TV, guys raped in the showers, beaten to death in broom closets, chain gangs, forced labor, CO brutality, all that crap. And I was scared. Adding to my concern, the county jail separates its populations by severity of crime, and as they say in prison argot, I “had a body.” Very simply put, I was D.U.I., I crashed, somebody died. An incredibly tragic accident. Due to an ongoing negative personal and professional relationship with the local police, they spared no unpleasantness. I would be placed in isolation for an indeterminate amount of time (for my own protection, of course), then moved to maximum security with the worst of the worst.

My isolation block consisted of 6 individual cells, a shower stall, and a tinted shatter-proof lexan observation window. Below the window was a slot, somewhat like the old drive-through bank teller window with the drawer. This is where a CO would drop soap when you came out for a shower. My blockmates on the whole were, by definition, raving mad. All hours of the day and night they screamed and pitched fits until they fell asleep from sheer exhaustion or were forcibly medicated. I just stared blankly out the window of my new home, which had gone translucent with grime, naked except for the blue, body-length anti-suicide gown, rigid as a flak jacket, pondering possible turns of my predicament. This form of torture lasted only a day or so, but in that time I met a religious fanatic who was convinced I was an extra-terrestrial demon sent to kill him, a man who painted his cell with feces and was deathly afraid of his own reflection, and a transvestite from San Francisco, or “Frisco” as he put it, who was too interested in me for my comfort. I attract older women and trannies. Nice. I was moved from isolation to low-security observation, a dedicated cell on a regular block with petty criminals. Here I was free to be gawked at through the open bars as the latest life-taker in my community. I even had a cellie. These were small-timers doing county bids, I was exotic fare and became instantly infamous. The abuse was mostly verbal, otherwise it was anything that could be thrown through the bars (thankfully, no excretory material involved). Some of the more demented ones held out pens, cut-outs of my picture in the paper, and requested my autograph. I thought to myself that this was only the beginning, that every day would be a fight for my life. There was no way out of here without a few good scars. Every moment was a mental preparation for the possibility of taking a life or lives in order to save my own. [Note from Susan: the “body” was Brandon’s best friend, Steve.]

The petty crooks demanded to know why I did what I did and quoted wild “occult killer” tabloid rumors, gleaned by police from me and my victim’s extensive collection of strange reading materials and personal effects. Personally, I think everyone should own a copy of Aleister Crowley’s Black Mass on tape. “Look out! He’s got a copy of Charles Manson’s ‘Lies’ on CD! ‘Requiem’ comics! Norwegian Black Metal! An English translation of ‘Faust’! (GASP!) It’s the Devil himself!!!!!!!” My legal firearms collection spawned a short-lived school shooter/right-wing separatist rumor that mercifully went unprinted. They also claimed they found a “used” sacrificial dagger which turned out to be a letter opener from an art catalogue modeled after one found in Tutankhamen’s tomb. And the award for “Most Unexpectedly Controversial Christmas Present” goes to…Mumsy! It should be noted that the blade was made from gold-painted pewter and would bend in a strong gust of wind. Seriously, I’ve seen tongue depressors more lethal.

When interest finally began to die and the real, boring story was out, other inmates began to empathize with my situation. They reassured me that jail had softened in Pennsylvania over the years, as a first-timer I would be sent to a “college campus” joint, and that max in the county was quiet, where the occupants kept to themselves. I was told to keep my head straight, my wits about me, and I should be fine. I looked over my shoulder at my cellie, who was busy pacing up and back, murmuring his name to himself and attempting to urinate, painfully it sounded, every 5 to 7 seconds. He did this nearly every hour of every day. Day in and day out. He was making it difficult. I won’t write it here due to what could be legal constraints, but I’ll never forget the guy’s name.

After three weeks of this, I was finally sent to the maximum-security wing on the roof, block 5-A (still in the county jail). They gave me a uniform (green scrubs), some spare clothes in a plastic bin (including a Bob Barker jean jacket, stylish!), showed me to an elevator, and keyed my floor. I was left alone inside. At the top the doors opened to a hallway completely devoid of sound and human presence. I was greeted instead by a wall-mounted intercom that instructed me to walk down the hall to the door on the right, labeled 5-A. Pointless, considering it was the only block on the floor. As I progressed, the voice moved from speaker to speaker, making sure I wouldn’t wander off course. Really, the hall wasn’t that long or riddled with doors, they just didn’t want me to blunder onto the fire escape or the guard booth, which was probably unlocked. I would have caught them doing what every C.O. does: not his job. The door to the block buzzed open remotely and yet another speaker informed me I live in 13 cell (which once housed escaped convict Hugo Selinski-worth googling just to see the bed sheet rope hanging 5 stories down). I scanned the tiny block to find exactly where that was when my ol’ buddy the intercom said “top of the stairs” and a door pops open automatically. It was amazing how eerie and deserted the place felt, what with the disembodied doors opening themselves. The block being locked in for count completed the illusion. This is where I began slipping into the lifestyle. Everyone there was either being extradited or looking at hefty state time, so mostly we just tried to amuse ourselves and forget the trouble ahead. If you could afford a TV, the cable was free. We’d hold boxing matches in the cell, or run in on guys we knew, stuff all the toilet paper in the bowl, and flood the place. We had games of Sorry that ended in violence, we made chi-chi’s, and we threw our weight around. When one of your roadies is facing the death penalty, you can get away with things. We lived about as well as we could.

From the tales of experience that I gathered, your first state bid now is like a test. Especially if you have no county record to speak of. They intentionally send you on a cake-walk-like Somerset or Albion. Hell, one of our joints is called Retreat. Sounds fun. They want to know if you’ll come out cocky, thinking you could do this on your head. Not me. I’ve got news: even easy jails suck unless you’re homeless, they’re still jails, and I hate the idea of giving up big chunks of my life to them. I can’t wait to leave ASAP. I get my first chance at parole in about 3 years, but I won’t max for another 9. I’m just not down with that “life on the installment plan” repeat offender thing. I’m done. After that 9 months in county I was done. I’ve got a job now, working in a PCI (PA Correctional Industries) Laundromat sorting a line of soiled clothing and linen from here to eternity. The work keeps me busy, the money keeps me self-reliant, and the smell keeps cops out of my department. I’m under suspension now because of a petty spat with the cops that landed me in the hole. Yeah, I’m a regular bad boy, refusing a cell move order. Stupid shit. No matter, I’ll be back in January.

Well I think that’s enough for now. I know I didn’t say much about myself personally, but I’ll leave questions up to y’all. Leaning about me is like joining the Freemasons, to get in you have to ask. The weirder, the better, I’ll answer just about anything. Whether or not I like puppies, how my idea of a romantic evening is a tracer-lit night on the firing line at Knob Creek’s biannual machine gun shoot-out, how to run a flamethrower rental business, or my plan to get myself sworn in as President based on a technicality (Obaza ’08: Sweeping Changes MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!) It’s all good. Until next time…

Email comments for Brandon to writeinside@hotmail.com or post them below. To post a comment if you do not have a Google/Blogger account, just select anonymous for your identity.

Shaun P. Attwood

Minnesota Community Banks

Here's an article from one of the best reporters in the (soon to be no more) Star Tribune, Chris Serres. It's about the "community banks" here in Minnesota which presumably were above the fray when it came to the housing debacle. As Chris and analysts point out, it couldn't be further from the truth. Matter of fact, I contend it was the community banks that sent the market into "hyper-over supply" in my book, which of course you should no doubt buy and read.

In any case, here is an excerpt from my book written nearly a year ago;

____________________

Though banks were also doing their fair share of “enabling” unworthy borrowers to buy homes, their primary contribution to the housing crash was from a different angle. For while mortgage lenders and mortgage brokers were artificially inflating demand, the traditional commercial banks were artificially inflating supply.

This is not by coincidence in that the nature of real estate lends itself well to being oversupplied. The reason is the numbers. Since bankers get paid on commission, usually a percentage of the total deal amount, the larger the deal, then the larger the commission. This makes real estate deals particularly appetizing in that unlike the commission on a $25,000 operating line of credit, the commission on a $25 million condoplex deal is infinitely more appealing and for roughly the same amount of work. Because of this anybody who stands to earn a percentage commission on the deal (bankers, management, investment brokers, etc), lobbied heavily for such deals to get approved, even if they are doomed to fail.

However, this resulted in a lopsided business. Since the majority of the deals were in real estate, the majority of the bank’s portfolio ended up in real estate. This was bad position to be in as, just like any other portfolio, you want to diversify your holdings to lower your risk. But despite the risks of having an overexposure to real estate, and especially in light of a potential housing crash, the commissions on real estate deals were so lucrative, the incentive to do them would more often than not triumph over those risks. This effectively eliminated any stops or regulators which would normally curb the amount of housing entering on the market and resulted in a flood of deals that were doomed to failure.

But while the sheer size of real estate deals helped bring about an oversupply of housing in a self-fulfilling sort of way, there was another odd incentive at play that would result in even more housing. A pecking order.

Because of their size and reputation, large, established commercial banks in a sense “get the pick of the litter” when it comes to loans. They have billions of dollars in capital, they can offer the best rates and they have the labor resources to originate, service and administer your loan. They can outdo their smaller competition because of economies to scale and therefore cherry pick the most profitable loans.

And not that there aren’t any good loans left to do, but as you go down the pecking order from large, established banks to medium sized regional banks to smaller community banks the quality and caliber of the loans erode. So by the time the loan gets to the smaller community banks it has already been passed on by several banks above.

In this sense the smaller community banks eat the crumbs that fall off the table of the larger banks. But despite their smaller size and despite being at the bottom of the pecking order these banks punched above their own weight when it came to oversupplying the market with housing. The reason was multi-fold.

One, the real estate deals these smaller banks were getting were doomed to fail. The market was already oversupplied and other banks had already passed up on these deals. If a bank had already turned down the loan, this spoke volumes as other analysts had looked at it and believed it would not be paid back. However…

Two, despite the impossibility of the deal, bankers were paid on commission. So even if the deal was unlikely to be paid back, they would still lobby for it, and more often than not, get it approved.

Three, these smaller community banks would salivate over multi-million dollar deals simply because they were multi-million dollar deals. To a large national bank a $4 million deal is nothing grandiose. But to a small town community bank $4 million is a large and coveted piece of business. Not because it’s a good loan, but because it’s a big loan.

The results were predictable. Despite the loan being a bad loan, despite it being passed on once, twice or thrice before, these small banks could only see the loan for its largess and potential commission check. And even though it was practically guaranteed to fail, these banks would approve these loans anyway.

But in doing these loans the damage these banks caused was disproportionately large for their size as all they managed to do was “hyper”-supply an already gluttonously-supplied level of housing. Furthermore, the amount of housing they would bring to the market was not insignificant for what they lacked in size they made up for in numbers. If it was just one small time community bank approving a couple of bad loans then there would be no consequence. But if 50 small time banks start approving hand-me-down loans, it was the equivalent of a large commercial bank approving hand-me-down loans. With so much “extra-excessive” supply hitting the market, housing prices were disproportionately affected downward as the number of houses a buyer had to choose from went from five to ten.

But be it large commercial banks flooding the market with condos or small community banks sending the market into hyper-supply, the crux of the problem was an incentive situation similar to the mortgage brokers. You were paid on volume, not risk. Bankers would get paid on deals completed, not paid back. Management would get bonuses based on sales, not loans paid back. And so the results were similar. Being obsessed with commission and completely disregarding risk, banks financed the construction of millions of homes that would never sell. Housing inventories skyrocketed, driving down prices and the banks did their job in helping contribute to the housing crisis.

Another Reason The Economist is Biased to the Left

Wow, I mean wow. I know The Economist has swayed left, but geez "Women and Children Killed By Israeli Assault?"



What amazes me (and further convinces me the "elite" in the western media and world are as competent as the "elites" such as Bernie Madoff, Dick Fuld and all the other Wall Street geniuses) is how the concept or just plain reality that Hamas is the one who ultimately pulled the trigger and are responsible for these deaths is lost on them.

I mean 3rd graders could get this kind of logic. It's like saying "How many women and children did the US kill in Japan?"

Oh, never mind the Japanese did it to themselves by kill 3,000 people at Pearl Harbor. Oh, no, that's completely irrelevant. No, it's the country defending itself and having the arrogance and audacity to stop FREAKING MISSILES from landing on its people. How dare they!

You go ahead and keep reading "The Economist." I have comic books to read that are more intellectually honest.

Only the Federal Government

As you all know, economics is my passion. So when I saw an economist position open here in the Twin Cities I was very excited. So I click on the link and here is the job posting (warning, you need 4 hours to read this);
_____

Department: Department of Treasury
Agency: Internal Revenue Service
Sub Agency: Internal Revenue Service
Job Announcement Number:
09PH4-LME0178-110-11T13-K


Economist
Salary Range: 57,503.00 - 106,552.00 USD per year
Open Period: Friday, November 28, 2008
to Thursday, July 30, 2009
Series & Grade: GS-0110-11/13
Position Information: Cutoff date will be 12/15/08. Addl cutoff date maybe estab based on future hiring needs. This is a Permanent, Career/Conditional Full-time Appointment
Promotion Potential: 13
Duty Locations: 1 vacancy - Bloomington, MN
Who May Be Considered:

You must be a United States citizen in order to apply for this
position; verification of United States Citizenship will be
required. 

IN ORDER TO BE QUALIFIED FOR THIS POSITION, IT IS REQUIRED AT THE
TIME OF APPLICATION TO SUBMIT YOUR COLLEGE TRANSCRIPTS VIA FAX
IMAGING.

Job Summary:

WHY IS THE IRS A GREAT PLACE TO WORK?
The IRS is a bureau of the Department of the Treasury and one of the
world's most efficient tax administrators.  Yearly, the IRS collects
more than $2 trillion in revenue and processes over 200 million tax
returns.  The IRS Mission is to provide the United States taxpayers
top quality service by helping them understand and meet their tax
responsibilities and by applying the tax law with integrity and
fairness to all.

WHAT IS THE LMSB DIVISION?
The Large and Mid-Size Business Division (LMSB) conducts examinations
and related investigations of corporations and businesses with
revenue in excess of $10 million.

Position is located in Bloomington MN.  The anticipated start date
is March, 2009.

HOW DO I APPLY?
"It is really easy.  Just click on the "How to Apply" tab above."

WHERE CAN I FIND OUT MORE ABOUT OTHER IRS CAREERS?
If you want to find out more about IRS careers, visit us on the web
at www.jobs.irs.gov.

Key Requirements:

• Must be a citizen of the United States. Background investigation required.
• Selective Service Registration is required for males born after 12/31/1959.
• Up to 50% travel maybe required. No moving expenses.
• Position will be filled at the GS-11, GS-12, and GS-13 level. If you wish
• to be considered for all levels, you must apply for each grade level.
• Promotion Potential is to the GS-13.

Major Duties:

As an IRS Economist you will:

GRADE 11

- Assume technical responsibility for various phases of the
initiation, formulation, planning, execution and control of special
studies or continuous projects.
- Assist in determining the objectives of a research project and the
methodology needed to obtain the objectives.
- Develop specifications for all segments of a research study.
- Present data and analytical material to end users in an oral or
written format.
- Resolve very complex problems or errors requiring professional
attention.
- Assume responsibility for the effective use of resources within
assigned subject matter projects.
- Keep abreast of economic, statistical and tax literature for data
and research methodologies.
- Review and analyze the reasonableness and accuracy of the material
produced for a given study.
- Prepare economic tables and graphical material using standard
computer software.

GRADE 12

- Perform assignments based on an in-depth knowledge level and
expertise in economics that include complex issues covering an
extensive range of industries and specializations.
- Assume technical responsibility for various phases of the
initiation, formulation, planning, execution and control of special
studies or continuous projects.
- Conduct various kinds of microeconomic research and analysis that
requires the study of economic structure, business practices and
functions.
- Review and analyze economic, statistical and tax data to determine
the existence of a potential economic issue; recommending formal,
limited assistance or withdrawal.
- Conduct research in source material that includes databases,
professional journals and publications, government publications, and
studies by other economists.
- Keep abreast of economic, statistical and tax literature for data
and research methodologies.
- Review and analyze the reasonableness and accuracy of the material
produced for a given study.
- Serve as a qualified witness for the Government in cases reaching
litigation.
- Prepare economic tables and graphical material using standard
computer software.

GRADE 13

- Assume responsibility for the formulation of workload estimates for
program segments specifying the methodology to be used, preparation
of appropriate specifications and procedures, and the review of
computer systems, materials and instructions for the study.
- Explain and defend research findings to the taxpayer, taxpayer's
representative, exam teams, Appeals, Counsel, and other IRS personnel.
- Conduct various kinds of microeconomic research and analysis that
requires the study of economic structure, business practices and
functions, competitive conditions, trade barriers, government imposed
barriers, financial markets, etc.
- Keep abreast of economic, statistical and tax literature for data
and research methodologies.
- Review and analyze the reasonableness and accuracy of the material
produced for a given study.
- Serve as a qualified witness for the Government in cases reaching
litigation.
- Prepare economic tables and graphical material using standard
computer software.

Qualifications:

To be minimally qualified, you must meet the basic requirements
below.

A.  Bachelor's or higher degree in economics that included at least
21 semester hours in economics and 3 semester hours in statistics,
accounting, or calculus from an accredited college or university.

OR

B.  A combination of work experience and education at an accredited
college or university equivalent to 4 years as described above. 
Examples of qualifying experience include (this list is not all
inclusive):  individual economic research assignments requiring
planning, information assembly, analysis and evaluation, conclusion
and report preparation, assignments involving the interpretation of
economic information, or teaching assignments in a college or
university that involve class instruction in economics and include
one of the following: personal research, direction of graduate theses
in economics, or service as a consultant or advisor on technical
economics problems.

NOTE:  Experience in related fields that did not involve the use of
and understanding of economic principles and theories may not be used
as qualifying experience.

Notes:
In applying the BASIC REQUIREMENTS above: 
1.  One full year of undergraduate academic study is defined as 30
semester hours (45 quarter hours) and is equivalent to 1 year of full-
time experience;
2.  Additional credit will not be given for duplicate course work
(courses will be counted only once); and
3.  Part-time experience will be prorated.

For the purpose of this application, we will deal in Semester hours.
If you have quarter hours, please use the following formula: # of
quarter hours completed divided by 1.5 = # of Semester hours.  For
example: If you have completed 12 quarter hours: 12/1.5=8 Semester
hours.

You may also be considered based upon a combination of education and
experience.  You may combine the college credits you completed with
any qualifying experience you have to total the equivalent of a four-
year college education.  When combining education and experience use
the following formula to calculate the total amount. Part time work
experience should be prorated.  Formula using Semester hours: # Sem
Hrs complete divided by 120 Sem Hrs + # of month's experience divided
by 48 months.  Example: 90 Semester hours of college (90/120) and 3
years experience (36/48) 90/120 + 36/48 = .75 + .75 =1.25.  If your
answer is one or more, you have the required combination.

Reminder:  Your resume must provide sufficient information to support
your responses to the following questions. Do not overstate or
understate your level of experience and capability. Your answers are
subject to evaluation and verification. Later steps in the selection
process will be used to verify your stated level of experience and
capability. If a determination is made that you have rated yourself
higher than is supported by your resume you will be assigned a rating
commensurate to your described experience. Deliberate attempts to
falsify information may be grounds for not selecting you.

How You Will Be Evaluated:

You will be evaluated on the following criteria: (1) by determining
if you meet the minimum qualifications required; (2) by the responses
you provide to the supplemental questionnaire, as described below,
indicating the extent to which you possess the specific
qualifications associated with this position as defined in the
Qualification section; and (3) by additional evaluation of
qualifications through an interview.

(1) You will be assigned to one of two catergory groups (A or B)
based on the results of the online assessment.  If you fail the
assessment, you will be considered not qualified for the position.

Job-Related Questions:  As part of the on-line application process,
you will need to respond to a series of questions designed to assess
your possession of the following Economist competencies:

Reading/Research ~ Understands and interprets written material,
including technical material, rules, regulations, instructions,
reports, charts, graphs, or tables; applies what is learned from
written material to specific situations.

Written Communications ~ Demonstrates the ability to clearly express
ideas, thoughts, and concepts in writing, using correct and
appropriate grammar, organization, and structure.

(2) If determined to meet the minimum qualifications for the
position, you will be sent via email a supplemental qualifications
questionnaire.  The questionnaire is used to determine if you possess
the knowledge skills and abilities of an Economist with the Large and
Mid-size Division of the Internal Revenue Service.

When responding to the questionnaire, you will be asked to describe
your experiences and identify your knowledge skills and abilities by
responding to the questions below:

A.  Identify specific industries in which you have worked and briefly
explain the type of work you did in each.

B.  Describe experience you have had that specifically involved you
in the determination or analysis of prices or valuations using
techniques such as price theory or other applications of
microeconomics, rate-of-return anlaysis, discounted-cash-flow
analysis, or similar techniques.

C.  Describe experience you have had in which you have had to use
interviews to elicit information for analysis, and in which you have
needed to communicate your conclusions using substantial written
reports or oral presentations. 

D.  Please describe any experience you have with specifically
multinational aspects of the operations of a firm with which you were
directly involved.  (The fact that the firm itself has such
operations is not as important as your description of you own
specific involvement with such activities.)

E.  Describe any experience you have with quantitative research tools
such as statistical or econometrics programs or corporate financial
database services such as Compustat or similar programs.  Identify
the program and/or corporate financial database, but also give a
brief description of the type of work for which you used it.

You will be sent this questionnaire after a review of your
application is performed to determine if you meet the minimum
qualifications.  You will have 5 days to respond to the
questionnaire.  If your response is not received, you will be
evaluated based on the information contained within your application.

(3) After a review of your application and your supplemental
qualifications questionnaire, your qualifications may be evaluated
through an interview.

Qualifying education from colleges and universities in foreign
countries must be evaluated in terms of equivalency to that acquired
in U.S. colleges and universities.  Applicants educated in whole or
in part in foreign countries must submit sufficient evidence,
including transcripts; to an accredited private organization for an
equivalency evaluation of course work, including grade and credit
conversion, and degree.  You must provide a copy of the letter
containing the results of the equivalency evaluation as supporting
documentation.  Failure to provide such documentation when requested
will result in lost consideration.

In addition, you may need to submit supporting documentation.  If you
are qualifying for this position in whole or part based on education,
you must submit college transcripts for all courses completed at time
of this application. If you are claiming veteran's preference or
eligibility for special priority consideration, you must submit the
documents described under "VETERAN'S PREFERENCE" and IMPORTANT
INFORMATION FOR SURPLUS OR DISPLACED FEDERAL EMPLOYEES" below.  All
supporting documentation must be submitted along with your
application. Failure to provide supporting documentation within the
prescribed period will result in disqualification or ineligibility
for preference/priority consideration.

Note: Although a copy of your transcripts is acceptable for
application processing, an official transcript will be required for
selection.

How You Will Be Evaluated:

You will be assigned to one of two category groups (A and B) based on
the results of the online assessment.  Each category group represents
a quality level.  Candidates will be considered in category group
order.  Qualified veterans claiming preference based on a service-
connected disability of 30% or more (CPS) or 10% but less than 30%
(CP) will be listed at the top of their assigned category group (A,
or B) and will be provided absolute preference over non-preference
eligibles.  All other preference eligibles (XP and TP) will also be
provided absolute preference over non-preference eligibles within
their assigned category group (A and B).  To pass over any qualified
preference eligible(s) to select a non-preference eligible requires
approval under formal objection procedures.  Note: You may
be "tentatively" assigned to a category group pending qualifications
validation and assessment results.  Final category assignment does
not occur until referral on a certificate.

To preview questions please click here.

Benefits:

The IRS offers outstanding benefits, family friendly employment
policies, generous holiday, vacation, and sick leave.  In addition,
the IRS offers a tax deferred retirement savings and investment plan,
with employer matching contributions.  These benefits, however, do
not apply to all appointment types.  For example, they do not apply
to individuals hired using Temporary Appointing Authority.  If
selected, information on your benefits will be provided with your
offer of employment.

Other Information:

Applicants must be in compliance with the tax laws.  Your income tax
returns will be verified for the past three years to determine if you
have filed according to the tax laws.

NO MOVING OR RELOCATION EXPENSES WILL BE PAID. 

If you are referred for consideration, you may be interviewed before
selection.  The interview focuses on the competencies listed above
and is intended to supplement the information provided in your on-
line application.  IRS WILL NOT reimburse costs associated with
travel to and from the interview.

CONDITIONS OF EMPLOYMENT:
Citizenship:  Under Executive Order 11935, only United States
citizens and nationals (residents of American Samoa and Swains
Island) may compete for civil service jobs.  Agencies are permitted
to hire non-citizens only in very limited circumstances where there
are no qualified citizens available for the position.  Applicants for
this announcement must be a U.S. citizen and a minimum of 16 years of
age.

Selections for employment depend upon several conditions such as the
number of vacancies, assessment score, shift availability and work
history.  In addition, applicants are subject to an FBI name and
fingerprint check, employment checks, and any other information
relevant to selection for employment.

Not all eligible applicants are selected for employment.  If
selected, you will be notified and given a commitment letter. 

Federal law requires all employers to verify the identity and
employment eligibility of all persons hired to work in the United
States.  We participate in E-Verify (Employment Verification).  We
will provide the Social Security Administration (SSA) and, if
necessary, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) with information
from your Form I-9 to confirm work authorization.  If we cannot
confirm that you are authorized to work, we will provide you written
instructions and an opportunity to contact SSA and/or DHS before
taking adverse action against you, including terminating your
employment. 

A determination will be made as to your suitability for federal
employment.  All appointments are made subject to an investigation. 
Any arrests, discharges from employment, or other information not
shown on the application could affect your selection and/or retention
in the service. 

Probationary period:  Every applicant selected from a competitive
list of eligibles for a Career or Career Conditional appointment must
serve a one (1) year probationary period.  Reinstatement
applicants will be required to serve the one (1) year probationary
period unless the probationary period has already been completed. 
Applicants appointed under the Veterans Recruitment Authority will
require a two (2) year trial period.

AGENCY CONTACT:  For additional information about this position,
please contact: Karen Sklencar, Human Resources Specialist,
Philadelphia Personnel Office at 215-516-4801 or you may e-mail Karen
at LMSBEXTAPPS@IRS.GOV

If selected, identification of promotion potential in this position
does not constitute a commitment or an obligation on the part of
management to promote you at some future date.  Promotion will depend
upon administrative approval, the continuing need for an actual
assignment, and performance of higher level duties.

NOTICE TO APPLICANTS:  The Treasury Inspector General for Tax
Administration (TIGTA) has oversight and investigative
responsibilities throughout IRS.  TIGTA has authority to initiate
investigations to identify IRS employees who have violated or are
violating laws, rules or regulations related to the performance of
their duties.  TIGTA does this in part through computer matching
programs.  TIGTA computerized matches include information from
Personnel records, taxpayer account records, records of computerized
accesses to IRS information, employee tax records and records of
employee computer usage (i.e. the Internet and other research tools).

THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE IS COMMITTED TO ENSURING THAT ALL
EMPLOYEES PERFORM IN A MANNER WARRANTING THE HIGHEST DEGREE OF PUBLIC
CONFIDENCE AND DEMONSTRATES THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF ETHICS AND
INTEGRITY.  APPLICANTS WILL BE REQUIRED TO GO THROUGH A PERSONAL
IDENTITY VERIFICATION (PIV) PROCESS THAT REQUIRES TWO FORMS OF
IDENTIFICATION FROM THE FORM I-9; ONE MUST BE A VALID STATE OR
FEDERAL GOVERNMENT-ISSUED PICTURE IDENTIFICATION.  ELIGIBILITY FOR A
PIV CREDENTIAL IS REQUIRED.  FAILURE TO COMPLY WITH THE PIV PROCESS
AND IF UNABLE TO VERIFY THE APPLICANT'S IDENTITY, MAY RESULT IN THE
LOSS OF CONSIDERATION FOR EMPLOYMENT.

TO BE ELIGIBLE FOR PIV CREDENTIAL, APPLICANTS MUST HAVE A
SUCCESSFULLY ADJUDICATED FBI CRIMINAL HISTORY RECORD CHECK
(FINGERPRINT CHECK) AND A NACI OR EQUIVALENT BACKGROUND INVESTIGATION
INITIATED.  EMPLOYEES MUST MAINTAIN PIV CREDENTIAL ELIGIBILITY DURING
THEIR SERVICE WITH THE DEPARTMENT OF THE TREASURY.

EQUAL EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY:  THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE IS AN
EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER.  SELECTION FOR THIS POSITION WILL BE
BASED SOLELY ON MERIT WITHOUT REGARD TO RACE, COLOR, RELIGION, AGE,
SEX, NATIONAL ORIGIN, POLITICAL AFFILIATION, DISABILITY, SEXUAL
ORIENTATION, MARITAL OR FAMILY STATUS, MEMBERSHIP IN AN EMPLOYEE
ORGANIZATION OR OTHER NON MERIT FACTORS.

How To Apply:

Individuals applying for this announcement are required to complete
and submit an on-line application through the Office of Personnel
Management (OPM) USAJOBS website.  This involves becoming a My
USAJOBS member and creating a resume.  The information you provide
through your My USAJOBS membership profile and resume is required of
all Federal job applicants.  When you apply for this vacancy
announcement, the information you entered in your profile and resume
are transmitted to CareerConnector as part of your application and
are used to create a CareerConnector registration.

In addition to CareerConnector registration questions, the online
application includes questions that:
-  determine basic eligibility;
-  assess required competencies for successful job performance; and
-  provide information for survey purposes.

To apply for this announcement you will need to answer approximately
25 questions.  The total number of questions will depend on the grade
you select and your responses to each question.

To apply, you must select the APPLY ONLINE button that appears at the
bottom of each announcement tab on USAJOBS.  This will start the
application process and take you to CareerConnector to complete your
application.

Your application is NOT complete until you have answered all
mandatory questions and have SUBMITTED the online application.

You can respond to some or all questions without submitting.  Your
answers can be saved and you can update or submit your application as
long as the announcement is open.  However, you MUST respond to all
mandatory questions and SUBMIT your application by the closing date
to be considered.

If applying on-line poses a hardship, please contact Karen Sklencar
at 215-516-4801. YOU MUST CONTACT KAREN PRIOR TO THE CLOSING DATE so
that she can provide assistance to you for the on-line submission. 
Requests for extensions will not be granted.

Please note that we use e-mail to communicate with applicants
throughout the hiring process.  We understand that this may not be
the best way to contact all applicants.  To ensure that we can
contact you quickly, you will be asked several questions about your
communication preferences in the application process.

There are several parts of the application process that will affect
your overall evaluation:
1.  Your on-line resume (See Step 1 below);
2.  Your responses to the eligibility questions;
3.  Your responses to the vacancy assessment questions; and
4.  Submission of supporting documentation (See instructions under
the Required Documentation" section of this posting).

You have until 11:59 PM Eastern Time (ET) on the closing date of this
announcement to complete the following four-step application process.

STEP 1:  To apply, you must first create a My USAJOBS membership
account and resume at www.usajobs.opm.gov.  You can build up to 5
resumes in your My USAJOBS account and will need to select one of
these resumes as part of your application for this vacancy
announcement.  Once you have created your My USAJOBS account and
built a resume, thoroughly review this vacancy announcement, select
the "Apply Online" button, and follow the instructions provided.

Note: We recommend that you use the preview questions option provided
at the bottom of the Qualifications and Evaluations tab of this
announcement to review and print a copy of the qualification
questions before you select the "Apply Online" button.

STEP 2:  After selecting a resume to submit for your application
package, you will be taken to CareerConnector to answer registration
questions and specific questions for this vacancy announcement.  The
answers to the registration questions will determine what types of
jobs you are eligible to apply for based on your Federal experience
and other factors.

Note: If you have previously registered in CareerConnector, you will
not be required to re-register.

STEP 3:  Next, you will answer a series of vacancy specific questions
to evaluate your qualifications for this announcement.  When
completed and submitted, this information with your CareerConnector
registration, My USAJOBS account profile, and your resume become your
application.  Once you submit your completed application by answering
all mandatory questions and selecting "Finished", you will see a
summary of your application which we recommend that you print for
future reference.  If you do NOT see this summary, you have NOT
successfully submitted your application.  A complete application must
be received by 11:59 PM ET on the closing date of this announcement
in order to receive consideration.

Note:  At the bottom of your application summary, you should
select "Finished" again.  This will return you to USAJOBS where you
will see confirmation that your resume was sent to this vacancy
announcement.  You will then be able to track the status of your
application through your My USAJOBS account.

STEP 4:  Submit Supporting Documentation asap:  To submit supporting
documents now, just follow the instructions that are provided after
you have answered your application questions. 

To FAX IMAGE at a later date or if vacancy announcement has closed,
follow the steps below:

1) Log into My USAJOBS at https://my.usajobs.gov with your username
and password.


2) Click on the 'Track Your Online Job Applications' link under the
Application Status column.


3) Click on the 'More Information' link to be transferred the page to
print the cover sheet(s).


4) Click on the 'View/Generate Fax Cover sheet(s)' and on 'Continue'.

5) For each cover sheet to be printed, click the check box
under 'Select Cover Sheet' and click 'Print Cover Sheet'.


6) Fax each set (cover sheet and document named in the cover sheet)
to the fax number listed on the cover sheet.


7) You must dial the fax number each time a different set is faxed.

8) If you fax from an IRS-owned fax machine, you must obtain an
outside line before dialing the fax number on the cover sheet.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION:  If your contact information changes after the
closing date of this vacancy announcement, send your updated
information to LMSBEXTAPPS@irs.gov to ensure you can be contacted
throughout the selection process. Please include the full
announcement number and position title on all correspondence.

Required Documents:

In addition, you may need to submit supporting documentation.  If you
are qualifying for this position in whole or part based on education,
you MUST FAX-IMAGE copies of all college transcripts for all courses
completed.  If you are claiming veteran's preference or eligibility
for special priority consideration, you must submit the documents
described under "VETERAN'S PREFERENCE' and 'IMPORTANT INFORMATION FOR
SURPLUS OR DISPLACED FEDERAL EMPLOYEES' below.  All supporting
documentation must be submitted ASAP.  Failure to fax image
supporting documentation asap will result in disqualification
or ineligibility for reference/priority consideration.

PLEASE NOTE:  Fax-Image copies of your transcripts are acceptable for
application processing.  However, official college transcripts are
required at the time of the interview.

In addition to the online application (resume and responses to
vacancy questions), the following forms may be required:

*  DD-214 if claiming Veterans' Preference.
*  Standard Form 15, Application for 10-Point Veterans' Preference
and supporting documents (if applicable).
*  Official College Transcripts (copies will be accepted initially,
however, prior to selection eligible applicants must submit official
transcripts to the hiring personnel office).
*  Equivalency Evaluation from an accredited private organization of
foreign education if applicable.
*  SF-50 - If you are or have been a Federal employee, please submit:
** copy of your last Notification of Personnel Action, Form SF-50; and
** copy of your most recent or last performance appraisal.

Note:  If you need to request a copy of your SF-50, please write to
the FEDERAL RECORDS CENTER, National Archives and Records
Administration, 111 Winnebago Street, St. Louis, Missouri, 63118. 
You must provide your name, social security number and date of birth
with your request.

FAILURE TO PROVIDE A COMPLETE APPLICATION PACKAGE WILL RESULT IN NOT
RECEIVING CONSIDERATION FOR THIS POSITION.  Note: Your application
package will not be returned.  Do NOT submit original documents that
you may need in the future.

VETERANS' PREFERENCE:  If you have served on active duty in the
United States military and were separated under honorable conditions,
you may be eligible for veteran's preference. To claim veterans'
preference, you must submit:
* Form DD-214 covering the period of military service for which
preference is claimed; and
* If applicable, a Standard Form 15, Application for 10-Point
Veterans' Preference with supporting documents as outlined on the
form.  This form can be found at www.usajobs.opm.gov/forms.asp.

Note:  For more information on veteran's preference, please go to the
U.S. Office of Personnel Management website for Veterans at
www.opm.gov/veterans. 

CTAP/ICTAP ELIGIBLES:  Individuals who have special priority
selection rights under the Agency Career Transition Assistance
Program (CTAP) or the Interagency Career Transition Assistance
Program (ICTAP) must apply as indicated above.  CTAP/ICTAP eligibles
must be well qualified for the position to receive consideration for
special priority selection.  CTAP/ICTAP eligibles who receive a score
of 80 or above will be considered well qualified.  If you are seeking
CTAP/ICTAP eligibility consideration, you must submit proof that you 
meet the requirement of 5 CFR 330.605 (a) for CTAP and 5 CFR 330.704
for ICTAP.  This includes a copy of the agency notice, a copy of your
most recent Performance Rating and copy of your most recent SF-50
noting current position, grade level, and duty location.  Please
annotate your application to reflect that you are applying as a CTAP
or ICTAP eligible.

REASONABLE Accommodation STATEMENT:  The Internal Revenue Service
provides reasonable accommodations to applicants with disabilities.
If you need a reasonable accommodation for any part of the
application and hiring process, please contact Karen Sklencar at 215-
516-4801. 

Decisions on granting reasonable accommodation will be made on a case-
by-case basis.

If you have been certified by the States Rehabilitation Center or the
State's Commission for the Blind, may wish to contact your counselor
to apply for employment through the IRS Disability Employment Program
in addition to applying for this vacancy announcement.

Contact Information:

Karen Sklencar
Phone: 215-516-4801
Fax: 999-999-9999
TDD: 215-516-1299
Email: LMSBEXTAPPS@IRS.GOV
Or write:
Internal Revenue Service
11601 Roosevelt Blvd., DP-B5704
Philadelphia,, PA 19154
Fax: 999-999-9999

What To Expect Next:

Note:  Your Category Rating may be different for each grade because
the requirements are different for each level.

We will communicate with you using e-mail throughout the hiring
process.  You will receive an electronic Notice of Rating that will
provide you with information regarding your eligibility for the
occupations covered under this announcement. If you currently have a
Spam Blocker on your computer, you will have to remove it in order to
receive notification from our office.

The United States Government does not discriminate in employment on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, national origin, political affiliation, sexual orientation, marital status, disability, age, membership in an employee organization, or other non-merit factor.

Federal agencies must provide reasonable accommodation to applicants with disabilities where appropriate. Applicants requiring reasonable accommodation for any part of the application and hiring process should contact the hiring agency directly. Determinations on requests for reasonable accommodation will be made on a case-by-case basis.


Send Mail to:
Internal Revenue Service
11601 Roosevelt Blvd., DP-B5704
Philadelphia,, PA 19154
Fax: 999-999-9999
For questions about this job:
Karen Sklencar
Phone: 215-516-4801
Fax: 999-999-9999
TDD: 215-516-1299
Email: LMSBEXTAPPS@IRS.GOV